36. Behind the bedroom door

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything, everything!*

 

Harry has been here before. Twice. He remembered it. He remembered the cool, black sheets under his hips. But the first time he was drunk and everything that happened was blurry, and the second time... well. The second time he gave Severus a birthday present. But nothing happened between them at that time.

Maybe that's a good thing. Because now, as he stood in front of that wide bed and stared at it, he felt excitement bubbling inside him. And he had a feeling that what was likely to happen now would not have been possible at all then.

It's been a long road. And heavy. But he made it. He was here and Severus was going to... was going to...

He froze as he heard the quiet footsteps of a man approaching him from behind. There was a rustle of robes in the tense, cold silence. He closed his eyes, cutting off the dim light cast by several trembling candle flames dispelling the darkness.

He could hear his own heart beating wildly in his ears. And he couldn't shake the feeling of unreality. As if it was all just an illusion. A dream. A dream that's come true. That black sheets, that trembling glow, the quiet footsteps, the rustling... no, the touch of the rough robe against his hot skin as Severus stopped just behind him.

Time seemed to stopped as well. Every muscle in Harry's body tensed. He waited. But he didn't know what for. For a touch? For a kiss? For anything, anything!

And then he heard the man lean over him, and a sudden, intense spasm ran through Harry's tense body. He shuddered uncontrollably, feeling warm breath on his neck.

Now he was almost absolutely sure that just a moment more and... there would be nothing left of him, because the senses and sensations would tear his body apart.

He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a strangled, tortured sigh, feeling the gentle brush of Snape's robe against his bare skin. The hot breath tickling his neck made his body covered with goosebumps. He didn't know what Severus was planning, but he didn't try to think about it, because then he might go completely crazy. Just a touch was enough for him. And a warm gust traveling through his body as Severus grabbed the shirt hanging off his shoulders and pulled it down, removing it from him and tossing it to the floor.

His skin begged to be touched and Harry involuntarily arched back, pressing himself against the cool, tall body behind him and letting Severus' hands work on another item of his clothing. The man slid his pants and briefs off his hips, letting them fall to his ankles. Without opening his eyes, Harry slipped his feet out of his shoes and untangled his legs from his trousers. He wanted to take off his socks, but he couldn't do it because at the same moment he felt a hot tongue touching his neck. He let out a loud sigh.

Oh, it was so... so...

He leaned his head forward, letting that hot, wet tongue slide to his neck, ever so slowly, as if he wanted to know the taste very carefully and memorize it. Harry almost fell to the floor when Severus's hands came to rest on his sides and slid down to his hips and lower... and he couldn't help but groan as those hands dug into his body, gripping his buttocks tightly and slowly began to spreading them. He felt a gentle bite on the back of his neck and he flinched, an almost painful current running through his body.

Then one of the hands disappeared and after a moment it touched his lips, pressing against them and forcing him to part them. Snape's long finger slipped into his mouth.

"Moisturize it." Severus' voice was quiet and muffled. As if every word resounding in the silence surrounding them was an intruder who shouldn't be here, who only disturbed them.

Harry pursed his lips around the slender finger, purring in pleasure. It tasted of something salty and bitter. And he quickly understood what it was. His own sperm, which had previously covered the man's hand. Just thinking about it made him feel a quivering tickle in his stomach.

He ran his tongue around it for a moment, thoroughly licking the sticky liquid from it. He groaned in displeasure when Severus removed the wet finger from his mouth. But he quickly changed his mind as he felt the man slip his hand between his thighs, touching that sensitive spot just behind his balls, and very slowly move it up between his spread buttocks, teasing him with his fingernail so much that for a moment Harry felt he's about to die.

The moment Severus stopped his finger right at his entrance and began to stroke it with quick moves of his fingertips, Harry was absolutely sure that in a moment he would really die. Or he will burn. It didn't matter now.

He held his breath as he felt another bite at the base of his neck and Severus' finger slipping into him. He opened his mouth, gasping for air and squeezed his eyes even tighter, wanting to focus only on this sensation.

Oh, how he missed it... How damn much he missed it!

But Severus didn't let him enjoy the sensation for too long. He thrust into him a few times, then let out a strangled moan, as if the remaining walls of his strong will had just collapsed, overturned by the incredible feeling of warm flesh pressing against his finger, into which he wanted to immerse himself as quickly as possible and could no longer hold back.

He pulled the finger out of Harry, who opened his eyes, surprised by the sudden tug. Snape pushed him onto the bed and covered him with himself. Harry shuddered as his hot skin touched the cool sheets and as he felt the man's body weight on him. This made him almost tremble with anticipation and excitement. The rough robe brushing against his skin and the black cape draped around him looked so...so...fucking stimulating. But Harry couldn't stop a sudden thought from popping into his head, whispering in his ear:

Think what it would be like to feel his naked body on you... What it would be like to feel skin against skin...

However, he quickly forgot about it, because a warm breath wrapped around his neck, and just above him he heard a dark voice that seemed to be so close that it could be heard in his own head: "Let's see how do you like this..."

This? What did he mean--

A wet tongue touched his skin and began to wander down his back.

Oh, so this!

He jerked his head up, letting out a moan of pleasure. His fingers tightened on the sheets and in that one moment he thought he would give anything for it to never end.

Severus licked his back so hungrily, as if he wanted to taste every inch of skin, and Harry could only writhe beneath him and moan into the black sheets beneath him.

Blackness, blackness surrounded him. It was above him and below him. His own skin seemed so pale now, so fair, so... flawless compared to it? and he gladly surrendered to the darkness, falling into the darkness, letting it consume him.

He arched his back, feeling the tongue glide along his spine, from his neck and nape to the small of his back, and the accompanying warm breath that tickled his damp skin, cooling it and making him shiver uncontrollably. When it reached his tailbone, it stopped and separated from his body. Harry felt sudden longing. He still wanted, still...

"More," he groaned into the sheets. A gust of air cooled his skin, as if Severus had taken a breath. Harry tensed, waiting for his reaction.

After a while he heard the answer spoken in a low, commanding tone: "Beg."

At first he felt as if electricity was creeping through his body and something squeezed his heart very tightly.

He wanted this. He wanted to feel it again.

He took a breath and whispered: "I'm begging you..."

Another breath of air, but this time it was more like a silent snort.

"Here you go... Potter begging me for something... Fascinating."

A blush spread across Harry's cheeks. Oh, just make him stop and...

Ooh yeah...

That tongue, that incredibly hot and wet tongue, touched his hot skin again and Harry felt like he was going to go crazy as it slowly slid down his body, lower and lower, through his tailbone, reaching the crack between his buttocks. He couldn't keep his hips flat anymore. They jiggled on their own, and Harry felt his erection rubbing against the smooth sheets. He was hard again, painfully so, and with each subsequent abrasion there was a risk of complete loss of control. Especially when Severus' tongue slowly slipped between his buttocks and Harry felt the man spread them with his hands, and that tongue... that tongue... he... OH!

Harry couldn't hold back the scream that escaped his lips when he felt a warm, slippery brush against his entrance. He felt as if he would burn and turn to ash, and he silently begged for this torment to end. Or not... he would do anything to keep Snape from stopping!

It was too... Merlin!

As the brushes quickened, Harry had to clench his teeth on the pillow to stifle a scream. His entrance throbbed, almost begging to be satisfied, for that wet, hot, burning tongue to finally slide into him. He sobbed, unable to control his reactions and afraid that he would soon tear the sheet he was clenching in his hands.

Severus was just... he was just licking...

"Aaaah... Fuck!" he cursed throatily, pressing his flushed face into the sheets.

Merlin, he couldn't even think about it without his heart trying to leap out of his chest and the blood in his veins turning to lava.

Suddenly everything stopped. The tongue disappeared, Severus pulled away, and Harry tried to catch his breath as it felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs with the scream. He felt dizzy and couldn't open his eyes, too dazed by what he had just experienced.

Only the sound of the zipper opening did sober him. His body reacted instinctively. He lifted his hips and knelt, sticking out his buttocks invitingly, but without taking his face or his hands from the sheets.

In response, he heard Severus' low, hoarse moan behind him. He seemed to enjoy this position immensely, judging by his suddenly rapid breathing. Harry was kneeling in front of him, waiting for a touch, for a brush, for anything, but nothing happened. There was a moment of suspension, filled with silence and stillness. He started to worry. Has something happened?

He moved and turned his head back to look at Severus to see what was going on. His eyes widened as he was struck by the hungry delight he saw on the man's face looking at him.

"What are you do--?" he started, but his tongue refused to obey him when a dark smile appeared on Severus' lips.

"I'm enjoying the view," the man replied quietly.

Harry's cheeks burned as he tried to imagine what he must look like now. He turned his head again and pressed his face into the sheets, and suddenly he felt the trembling touch of Severus' cool hands spreading his buttocks. One of the hands disappeared and a bit of magic touched Harry's skin, and at that moment a smooth, slippery finger, covered with some warming ointment, slipped inside him. Harry sighed deeply, feeling his muscles relax and wanting Severus to enter him deeper... But the finger quickly withdrew, and Harry's heart stopped in a moment of ecstatic anticipation.

And then he felt it.

The hot head of Severus' cock pushing through his hole? and then more, even more of Severus inside him, entering him with such ease, with such need...

He heard a guttural growl of pleasure escape the man's lips as his hard cock plunged into Harry millimeter by millimeter. Harry heard hunger and thirst and something else in it... but he couldn't think about it now. Not when he felt that incredible, pulsing heat plunging into him and rubbing against the walls of his entrance. He finally felt absolutely complete, as if he had been incomplete before? and only Severus could fill him so perfectly.

The man entered him as deeply as possible. Harry felt the slap of hot balls against his buttocks and wanted more. He wanted even more! And he knew Severus wanted more too. He felt it in the force with which the man's fingers gripped his hips, almost digging into his skin. Harry was sure there would be traces, but it didn't bother him at all. He wanted those marks. He wanted Severus to mark him all over, to mark him as his own. And he couldn't shake these thoughts away as he groaned into the satin sheets, pushing his buttocks even further.

Severus let out another guttural moan and suddenly pulled out of Harry, collapsing on top of him and warming his skin with his hot, heavy breath. For a moment he just lay there, as if trying to recover, but then Harry felt his warm lips on his back. Snape kissed and alternately licked his neck, shoulder blades, and shoulders, and Harry had to clench his teeth on the sheets to muffle his hoarse moans. The sensation was so amazing that Harry's penis began to throb even more violently.

Severus pulled away from his back and entered him again, letting out another grunt of hungry pleasure, as if he wanted it so much he couldn't control it.

Harry felt Snape's arm wrap around his chest, and before he knew what was happening, the man lifted him up and pulled him closer. Harry pressed his back against his torso, kneeling on the bed in an upright position, and sighed as Severus' other arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him even closer and pressing him into the rough robe.

He was so close to him now. He could almost feel the tense muscles shaking beneath the fabric and... Merlin! Harry involuntarily arched his back and pushed his buttocks out as Severus began to move inside him in sharp, fast, shallow strokes. And it was so... so... OH!

The sound that escaped from his mouth was one long moan, vibrating in time with Severus' thrusts. He moved his hands behind him, trying to tighten them, and found the fabric of the man's robe. He dug his fingers into it and felt the flesh beneath his clothes move. He realized that his hands were resting on Severus's hips, which were pounding against him at a dizzying pace. He felt their force and violence under his fingers as they lashed his buttocks and moved back and forth so fast as if they were going to destroy him, reduce him to ash.

Then he heard a voice. A hoarse, panting voice close to his ear: "Yes, that's right, Potter. I want you to moan and squirm. I want to break you into pieces, make you whimper and beg." Severus moved his mouth even closer and whispered directly into his ear, and Harry felt as if that low, dark voice was resonating directly in his head: "I'm going to fuck you so hard that you will never, ever want anything or anyone else again."

Harry squirmed and whimpered, feeling the words hit his senses and tighten around his erection, and something inside him wanted to break free, howling wildly and jerking. And he couldn't hold back that steady, vibrating, throbbing moan as the hot tip of the man's cock hit his prostate again and again.

"Louder." The order was sharp and so stimulating that Harry automatically began to moan louder. In response, Severus picked up his pace again and wrapped his arms around him tighter, pressing the boy to him with such force as if he was never going to let him go. "Louder!" he repeated, and Harry felt as if he was about to tear his throat completely out, but Snape seemed to enjoy it, judging by the purr of satisfaction that enveloped his ear.

Trying to stop the dizziness, Harry tilted his head back, resting it on Severus' shoulder, and now he could hear his heavy panting and moans of pleasure even more clearly. He felt gusts of hot air caressing his neck. He felt the body moving behind him, faster and faster. He felt hot inside. He felt the flames where Snape's penis rubbed against his entrance, against its walls, against his prostate. He had the impression that he was being consumed by fire and that in a moment the fire would consume his entire body. Severus was thrusting as if he was rushing and was unable to stop; and he accelerated more and more...

Suddenly he pulled out, letting out a heavy, guttural curse: "Damn!"

At that moment, Harry realized why the Potions Master had once again interrupted so abruptly. He was simply too close and he didn't want to come so quickly. He wanted to extend it. He wanted it to go on and on and...

When Harry realized this, a sudden, uncontrollable wave of warm feelings flooded his heart. He turned his head to the side and looked at Severus with blurry eyes. His face was flushed and black strands of hair were stuck to his sweaty forehead. The sight made his heart spasm. He moved his face even closer and kissed Severus on that sensitive spot on his neck, just below his ear. He heard the man hold his breath for a moment, and that one, barely noticeable reaction made Harry's heart sing.

He turned his head again and closed his eyes, feeling Snape's grip loosen. Severus removed his hand from Harry's chest, but tightened his grip on his waist and guided them both down, back to the sheets. He laid Harry on his side and positioned himself behind him, propping on his elbow and pulling Harry even closer, then lifted Harry's leg and entered him again.

Harry let out a loud sigh and let his head fall back onto the bed. Severus wrapped his arm around him again, and the thought flashed through Harry's mind that it must not have been a coincidence that Severus' hand had rested on his chest, right where his heart was beating. The hand was cool and it was on him, he could feel it on his skin. He couldn't help himself. He raised his hand and placed it on the slender palm. It opened under his touch. He wrapped his fingers around it, squeezing it with almost crushing force and pulling it under his chin to keep it as close to him as possible.

He turned his head and looked at Severus' face, only a few centimeters away from his own. With each thrust he had to force his eyes to stay open, because the sight of that sweaty, flushed face right above him was probably the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Even with his dizziness and foggy glasses, he could see the ripples of pleasure on the man's face. He saw hair stuck together, falling on the forehead and cheeks. He saw eyes burning like in fever, gliding over his body, alternately looking at his face or wandering lower? and it seemed that what attracted them most was the sight of the penis that was slowly sliding into his entrance. It was sliding in and out. It was pushing it in and out.

This time Severus was fucking him slower. And deeper. But even so, each thrust made Harry almost lose his mind. Snape seemed to like it, though. He seemed to like the way he pulled out of Harry almost all the way, leaving just the head inside, and then plunged back in, his entire length all the way to his balls, feeling his throbbing cock squeeze through the tight hole.

Harry liked it too. He especially liked the moment when the moist, heated tip of the penis filling him hit that sensitive point inside him, sending his senses to the ceiling. And he wanted even more. He wanted even more closeness.

He raised his head and pressed his lips against the man's neck. He heard Severus let out a groan. He began to suck on the patch of skin, feeling the man's dizzying scent in his nostrils: herbs, ginger, musk, sweat and something sharp, irritating... like lust. Everything mixed together and striking straight at the deepest senses and instincts. Harry felt himself shaking, felt the flames in his lower abdomen engulfing his entire being, heating up every part of his body. He started moaning into Severus' neck, unable to take his mouth off him. He tasted sweat and the tremors that crawled under his skin. And judging by the man's hoarse, increasingly loud moans, he too was already at the very edge.

Finally he groaned and jerked his head, pulling away from Harry's lips as if it was too much for him. Harry felt a light blow to his temple. He hissed and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a slight pain. Severus jerked too violently and nudged him with his chin. But that didn't matter now. The only thing that mattered was the heat that was growing inside him, filling him...

Suddenly Harry felt the gentle touch of warm lips on his temple. Right where he was hit. He opened his eyes, and his heart, at an almost frantic pace, jumped and stopped.

Severus kissed his face. He kissed his temple. He kissed the injured place. No, it was too... unbelievable! This could never happen, it's absolutely and undeniably... wonderful.

Snape broke his lips, looking at him with an unreadable expression, as if checking if he was alright. Harry knew he would need a lot of time to remember how to breathe.

His heart started to beat again, immediately picking up a dizzying rhythm... Just like Snape's thrusts, who suddenly sped up, closing his eyes in pleasure as he plunged inside him. Beads of sweat ran down Harry's body, his hair stuck to his forehead, and the heat inside him reached an alarm level and everything inside him began to boil. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the fire creep even beneath them. He heard heavy, ragged panting above him and hot breath fanning across his face, and he knew they were both at the very edge. That it's almost there... Just one more push, one thrust, one explosion...

Harry felt his throbbing erection explode with pleasure bordering on madness, covering the black sheets with white streams of cum. But he couldn't see it because all he saw was fire. A fire that consumed his entire body and every fragment of his soul. He arched towards Severus, his muscles tensing so much that they began to shoot painful pinpricks as if electricity were flowing through them. He felt as if everything inside him was pulsing. Veins, muscles, eyelids, fingers, the pleasure spreading in the lower abdomen. He squeezed Severus' hand convulsively as if it was the only real thing in the world. The only thing that kept him afloat. The hand and that hot penis, still hitting his prostate, sending waves of pleasure into his dying body.

The experience was so intense that when the last wave subsided and Harry finally fell back onto the mattress, every nerve in his body feeling like it had burned and every muscle had melted away, he discovered that he had probably torn his throat from screaming.

He opened his eyes with difficulty and Severus' face appeared in his hazy, blurry vision. Severus, who was watching him like a hawk, as if he wanted to thoroughly absorb every emotion from his face. And he accelerated even more, as if he couldn't wait to reach the finals. As if his life depended on getting to it as quickly as possible.

Harry saw the effort in that determined face, he saw the burning hunger in his eyes, which, satiated by the sight of Harry's flushed, fulfilled face, flared up even more, as if it only fueled it, and now he was rushing towards his goal, faster and faster, slapping his hips against Harry's bare buttocks and never taking his eyes off the green, misty eyes staring at him.

And then Harry saw it. Just before the eyelids fell over the black eyes, slamming them shut in a world of pleasure. He saw a flash. A bright, warm flash, as if the light he had seen in him then had finally broken through the darkness. Only for a brief moment, but it was enough to make his heart sink almost to his stomach. In that one moment he felt like the happiest person in the world. Because only he could see how that stern face softened, the wrinkles smoothed out, and the lips curved into something like a smile, revealing clenched teeth, between which a low, hoarse growl of fulfillment broke through. And only he could feel the heat as the cum from Severus' throbbing erection spilled inside him, filling him with warmth and joy. Only he could feel that strong grip on his hand as Severus came inside him, throwing his head back. He had the feeling that a moment longer and his fingers would be crushed, but he didn't mind. Because only he could feel it. Only he could watch it. Only he could experience this. Only he could give it to Severus? and it was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

He had no idea how long it took. It didn't matter. He could stare at it for hours. He regretted it when Severus finally collapsed onto the bed behind him and, panting heavily, pulled out of him. The man released his hand from the grip and lay flat on his back, recovering.

Harry felt something warm and thick flowing from between his buttocks. Oh yes, he felt fulfilled. Completely fulfilled. And incredibly happy.

He turned his face away from Snape as his neck was starting to hurt and lay on his side, drawing his knees up and placing his arms outstretched in front of him on the bed. He could hear Severus' heavy breathing behind him, although he was still having trouble balancing and calming his breathing, and his heart was still beating way too fast. His tired muscles trembled and his eyelids began to feel heavy. He couldn't bring himself to lift them. Now he couldn't even bring himself to move even his little finger. He could only lie there, trying not to shake so much, and listen to the two ragged breaths, and the increasingly slower but extremely loud beating of his heart? and to let his skin remember every touch and every kiss placed on it by those thin lips.

He sighed softly, smiling at the memories. Then he heard a movement behind him and a smile immediately fell from his lips.

He froze, listening.

What will happen now? Will Snape get up and leave again? Will he leave him again?

No, he didn't want that. He didn't want to stay here alone. Not after all this. Not at a time like this.

He heard a faint rustle and squeezed his eyes tighter. The mattress sagged.

No, don't go...

A gentle breeze of magic suddenly tickled his skin. He was surprised to find that both the semen covering the sheets and the semen dried on his body has disappeared, along with that sharp, irritating smell, the source of which he did not know, but he suspected that it had something to do with semen, sweat and... sex?

He heard the rustling again, the mattress sagged behind him once again, and Harry held his breath.

And that's when he felt a soft touch on his hair. Severus' hand rested on his head and slowly began to stroke it in a gentle, unobtrusive way, stroking his damp hair, his temple and part of his cheek.

His heart stopped and for a moment Harry felt like it was going to explode.

Severus didn't leave. Why? Why did he stay with him?

Yes, Harry was begging for it in his mind, but he didn't think... he didn't think... that he really...

He always left him. He always left. And now it was so strange and... new. And amazing. And it made only one thought echo in his head: Severus stayed with him! He was lying behind him! He stroked his head! And... and... Damn! He's probably going to die of shock. And of happiness.

Maybe he should say something? But what? No, the silence felt so good. He couldn't stop it. He was afraid to do it. He was afraid to move. He was afraid to even breathe, lest it end. He could lie like that for the rest of his life, as long as Severus kept petting him. And that he would never stop. May he never leave.

Yes, never... leave.

Fatigue began to get the better of him. He had more and more problems with coherent thinking. Exhausted, aching muscles and strained senses decided to claim their well-deserved reward in the form of sleep.

Yes... he didn't go away... he never... He always... he was always there. Just like now. Always.

Harry slowly drifted off, and the gentle, monotonous caress only helped to envelope him in the darkness and he allowed himself to be drawn into it.

He only woke up when the hand disappeared from his head and he heard rustling behind him again.

"It's late. You have to go back." Severus' voice was slightly hoarse. Besides that, he seemed completely composed.

Harry forced his eyes open and blinked as the candlelight flooded his eyelids. He turned his head and looked over his shoulder at the man, who moved away from him and got out of bed.

Harry felt a slight, painful twinge in his heart.

So that's it. He's supposed to go away. Sure, what did he expect? He has already received so much. He can't ask for more.

He swallowed the defiance that wanted to flow over his mouth and turned his head back.

Yes, he was happy. Content. Fulfilled.

No, he didn't want to stay here overnight. He didn't need it. Really.

But it could stay like this...

"Dress up." Severus bent down, picked up his things and threw them on the bed. "I'm going to take a shower. When I come back, you have to be ready."

Harry nodded and watched the man disappear through the door leading to the bathroom. There was a velvety silence for a moment. After some time, he heard the sound of running water and quickly squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get the image of naked Severus in the shower out of his mind.

No no! Enough already! He was supposed to get dressed!

He sighed and tried to get up. He had no strength. All his muscles seemed to have turned to cotton wool, extremely painful, and his ass was throbbing so much that he couldn't imagine sitting on it now.

With great effort and the sensation of being beneath the surface of a thick liquid that prevented him from moving, he managed to put on his briefs. He fell back on the pillow, sighing deeply.

He'll rest for a while and then try to put the rest of his clothes on. He felt like his legs and arms weighed a ton. His muscles were still shaking and he felt dizzy, and he was so very tired... He will rest just a moment, a little while... And soon he will finish... what he was supposed to do.

What was he supposed to do? The pillow was so soft... and warm.

No, he had to do something. Finish something.

Never mind. Everything hurt. He just wanted to lie there. He couldn't open his eyes. It was so nice in the dark. It wrapped around him, wrapped its arms around him. It rocked him.

Silence. Darkness. Sweet rest.

Yes.

Hmm... did he imagine that he heard a voice calling to him?

"Potter!"

"Hmm?" He had the impression that somehow he managed to make a sound, but he wasn't sure.

"Potter, get up immediately! You can't sleep here!"

"Nnnn..." he murmured, burying his face deeper into the pillow. What did that voice want? It probably told him to do something. "I'll finish tomorrow," he muttered and plunged again into the warm darkness, on the edge of which floated fragments of some sounds... and sensations.

Footsteps. And... a sigh.

He felt something shaking his shoulder.

"Potter, for the last time--"

"Sleep," he groaned, curling up into a ball and trying to escape the voice that was keeping him awake.

He heard the sigh again, heavier this time.

He purred into the pillow, snuggling deeper into the soft darkness. He felt some movement on his face. His glasses. As if someone took them off, and put them on the cabinet, judging by the sound.

Never mind. Sleep.

It got warmer. Something fell over his body, covering him up to his shoulders. He felt so good...

Wait, he probably should do something else. Say something. He was always saying something. He can't fall asleep until he does this.

"Goodnight, Severus," he murmured softly into the pillow.

Yes, that was it. Now he could fall asleep. Now he could let the darkness wrap around him and lock him in its cocoon.

And he did, drifting deeper and deeper into sweet sleep. As he sank into it and the world closed in on him, he thought he heard a very, very distant voice whispering goodnight. But maybe he just imagined it?

Or maybe he was already dreaming?

***

Harry fell onto the damp grass. He felt dizzy. He felt as if he had just been on a roller coaster.

He blinked and spat a wet wad from his mouth, then lifted his head and looked around.

In the faint moonlight he saw a slab of stone covered with moss ahead of him. It looked as if it had emerged from the ground, tangled in long stems hanging from it. Or roots. When he opened his eyes, he saw words carved into the stone. And now he knew what it was. Tombstone.

He rose to his knees and more tombstones and sculptures appeared in his field of vision, looking like the dead who froze trying to escape from the land of death. There was something terrifying about their outstretched, tangled arms. Harry swallowed and crouched down, still afraid to stand up for some unknown reason.

He was at a graveyard.

He flinched when he heard a groan behind him. It looked like he wasn't alone here.

He turned around abruptly and saw a figure lying in the grass, which moved and raised its head.

It was Cedric.

Harry had a vague feeling that he had been here before. That something like this has happened before. And this only increased the anxiety creeping under my skin.

He straightened up and looked around. The moonlight was too dim for him to see the details of his surroundings, so he moved closer to the gravestone in front of him, hearing the faint grunts of Hufflepuff trying to get to his feet. He strained his eyes to read the inscription on the stone.

Tom Riddle.

A familiar fear gripped him, and his heart immediately reacted, quickening its rhythm and leaping into his throat. He jumped away from the tombstone so violently that it seemed as if flames were shooting out of it, trying to reach him.

Suddenly he heard footsteps. Crunching on the sticks covering the ground. He looked around for their source.

A hunched figure emerged from the darkness, carrying a small bundle in his arms. The little man was short and thin and moved like a frightened, sniffing rat.

Harry felt something heavy drop into his stomach and anger began to burn in his chest. Stronger than fear.

Wormtail!

No, there was something else. He knew it the moment an unimaginable pain shot through his scar, as if someone had touched his forehead with a hot poker.

And then he saw it. A white, shiny skull emerging from a bundle.

Terror tightened in his throat.

It was Voldemort! He knew it!

But how? Where?

Before he could react, he heard a high-pitched, head-splitting hiss: "Kill the spare."

Wormtail's wand appeared in his hand and Harry saw, as if in slow motion, the man's lips formed the words of the Killing Curse and he turned to Cedric, wanting to warn him, but the scream died on his lips when he saw that Hufflepuff was not there anymore. That in his place stands a tall figure in a black robe.

Severus!

"Avada Kedavra!"

He could only watch helplessly as a green beam flew out of Wormtail's wand and hit the surprised man's chest.

At that very moment Harry felt as if something had been ripped from his chest as he watched the slender body fall into the damp grass, thrown away by the force of the impact as if it was nothing more than a rag doll, a lifeless puppet.

Harry saw himself running and falling over to the body on the ground and looking into Severus' wide eyes. They were still black. But the light he had always been looking for, the light he had waited for so impatiently, was no longer there.

They were empty. Cold. Dead.

He felt pain appear deep in his body, in the very core of his soul. And it was growing, growing, tearing his insides, his heart, everything that comes in its way, wanting to be free.
And when it reached the mouth, it carried with it everything it could muster, leaving nothing but bleeding ashes in its wake. And emptiness.

And when it finally escaped his throat, it exploded with pain that turned into a hoarse, heartbreaking howl. "NOOOOOOO...!"

He felt as if he were falling into a void, as if now, in this one moment, everything, his entire life, ceased to matter. All he needed was darkness and oblivion. And for the pain to go away, because it felt like it had eaten through all his insides.

But in this darkness full of fear and pain, a distant voice appeared. But Harry didn't want to let him get to him. He didn't want to listen to him.

However, the voice was getting clearer and closer.

"...ter! Potter, damn it!"

Something was tugging at him. It was shaking him by the shoulders. Someone.

Harry wanted him to go away. He didn't want to feel anything. He just wanted to scream and scream because it was the only thing that allowed him to dull the pain even a little.

"Potter! Wake up!"

Harry lifted his eyelids and saw the eyes.

Black eyes. Not empty, not cold. They were wide, slightly blurred, but he could see the light in them. Flames. Fear.

He saw life. He jumped up and desperately threw his arms around Severus's neck, hugging him so tightly as if he was never going to let go. "You're alive..." he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"You're alive... He didn't kill you..."

He felt his heart beating almost at a rabbit pace. He couldn't catch his breath and tears appeared behind his clenched eyelids, but it didn't matter because Severus was still there. He wasn't gone.

He was alive.

He pressed his face into the man's neck, feeling his rapid pulse, and he had never felt such relief in his entire life.

"Potter..." Severus began. There was hesitation in his voice, and when Harry heard it, he realized what a stupid situation it was.

He behaved like a five-year-old who, after having a nightmare, jumps in terror on the neck of one of his parents.

No, Snape can't see him like this, can't see him shaking. Harry didn't want him to be made fun of tomorrow morning.

He let go of him, trying not to shake so much, and with his head bowed, not wanting to look him in the face, he muttered.

"I'm sorry. I'm fine. I just need to go to the bathroom. Everything's all right."

He got up from the bed, feeling his aching muscles protest against the effort, and moved forward, not even minding the throbbing pain of his ass. It was dark, but he didn't bother turning on the light. He didn't even care that he didn't have glasses.

He wanted to be alone as soon as possible.

He tripped over something lying on the floor and fell into a chest of drawers.

"It's okay," he mumbled again and felt his way to the bathroom door.

As he slammed it shut behind him and was surrounded by emptiness and darkness, he could finally let out the vibrant, hoarse sigh that had been burning in his throat since he woke up.

He didn't know how he managed it, but he reached the sink and leaned over it, lowering his head and resting his forearms on its cool edges. He was shaking so much that he could hardly stand, and he still felt that burning bitterness in his stomach, as if something had torn his insides apart. He felt sick and felt the bitterness flowing down his esophagus. He had convulsions and vomited. He felt as if with each tug something was tearing him apart from the inside and seemed to want to make sure that there was nothing left inside him.

Maybe that's better. Maybe then he would stop feeling the painful terror that was clenching his heart and veins, throbbing in his temples and drumming in his ears.

Severus...

He could still see the green glow and the body lying on the ground with its limbs spread out. And the emptiness in the black eyes.

NO!

He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the images and the tears that escaped from under his eyelids. But he couldn't stop them. Some dripped into the sink.

No, Severus is alive, he's behind the door. He's fine. He's fine. It was just a dream. Only a dream. Just some stupid, unrealistic dream. Everything is fine.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, but his heart was still beating too fast and his mind couldn't shut down the images he had seen, which were seared into him so deeply that he wasn't sure he would ever be able to get rid of them.

It was just a dream. But so real...

Why did he see Snape in him? Why did he appear instead of Cedric? Was that some kind of warning? Vision?

No, impossible. It has already happened. It was the past, not the future.

Or maybe... he didn't want to lose Severus. He fell asleep with that thought in mind. That he doesn't want him to leave. So maybe it was just a nightmare. Maybe he's so afraid of losing him that he dreams about it.

But should it be so real and strong? Should he feel as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest, along with all his feelings, leaving only emptiness?

He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. No, he don't want to think about it! He's had enough! He needs to forget. Yes, he needs to forget about it. To forget that Severus had become everything to him and if he lost him, then... he might as well...

NO! He can't think about it! He won't think about it!

He needs to go back. Enough time has passed. He didn't want Snape to see how scared he was. He needs to go out and act... normal. Naturally. At least as much as he can.

He rinsed his mouth and face with cold water and cleaned the sink. He leaned against it for a moment, breathing deeply and trying his best to look as if nothing had happened.

Yes, he just had a stupid nightmare, it's okay, let's go to sleep, it doesn't matter...

Yes, exactly.

He straightened up, sighed deeply, and groped his way to the door. And when he opened them, he froze.

Severus was standing outside the doorway. Apparently he was waiting for him, and it looked like he had lit a few candles in the bedroom, because even though Harry wasn't wearing glasses, he could still see his figure dressed in black trousers and a black shirt, and his face staring intently at him.

Harry quickly looked away, not wanting the man to see his face, which was not yet completely worn out with emotions. He looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry I woke you up. I did not want to. We can go to sleep now," he muttered, trying to sidestep him.

But then he felt strong hands grab his arms and heard a quiet voice whispering. "Come here."

He sighed as Severus wrapped his arms around him, pulled him close and pressed him to his chest. Harry closed his eyes and listened to the gentle sound of his heartbeat. He knew Severus was here. He really was. For the first time since waking up, he felt peace filling his heart. He had to ask because he couldn't help but say.

"You'll be fine... right?"

There was silence for a moment. Finally Severus moved and released him, and Harry felt slender hands grab his face and lift it. He saw dark, shining eyes. He saw light behind them. Even though he couldn't see clearly, he could feel the warmth radiating from them.

He heard Severus' voice: "Yes, I'll be fine. It was just a dream."

"You promise?" Harry himself was surprised by the desperation in his voice. Severus' eyes did not change their expression, but Harry felt as if something had obscured them for a moment, though he suspected it was just a shadow cast by the flickering candle flames.

"I promise," the man replied, a barely visible smirk appearing on his face. "Your concern is touching, Potter." Snape let go of his face and straightened, and Harry felt a pang of regret. "Now go back to bed. Or do you want to stand here until the morning feeling sorry for yourself?"

Harry smiled involuntarily.

"No," he replied.

"That's something new," the man snorted, stepping away and turning his head away. His voice suddenly became sharper. "You love feeling sorry for yourself."

Harry frowned. Something in Severus changed. He began to wonder when it happened. And why?

He must have said something that made him angry. But what? The vision before his eyes was blurry and now that the man was standing some distance away from him, Harry couldn't clearly see his face, but he saw that it had stiffened.

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself," he tried to defend himself. "I just had a bad dream. I told you we could go to sleep now."

"Good, because I'm tired of babysitting you," Severus replied tartly.

"I didn't ask you to--" Harry began, feeling increasingly irritated by Snape's harsh tone.

"No, but I asked you to get dressed and go back to the dormitory and not fall asleep in my bed."

Harry opened his mouth and closed it again, too shocked by Snape's answer.

How can he blame him for that? Anger was anger, he was already used to the fact that Severus could flare up in the least expected moments, but this was a bit excessive. He didn't do anything like that! After all, Snape didn't have to come after him...

Or maybe that was the point? Maybe he was angry that Harry woke him up? This was actually a bit unfair. But it wasn't his fault he had a nightmare.

Maybe Severus was right that Harry likes to feel sorry for himself? But it wasn't pleasant at all to hear this in the middle of the night, after such a terrible dream!

"I was just tired," he replied in an offended tone. "But if I'm bothering you that much, I'm leaving."

He moved towards the clothes lying on the chair, feeling the anger bubbling in his stomach subside a bit. He didn't care that his legs were still buckling under him.

"Go back to bed, Potter," the man's tired voice stopped him. "Do you think I'll let you wander around the castle in the middle of the night, especially when you're so emotionally unstable?"

"I'm not emotionally unstable," Harry grumbled, trying to untangle his knotted trousers.

"Yeah, and I'm not that mean bastard who orders you to go to sleep. Immediately!"

Harry felt a magical force rip his pants from his hands and push him onto the bed. He was still weak, so he didn't have the strength to get back up.

"I don't feel like listening to you in the morning yelling at me that I stayed here. It will be best if--"

"Shut up and don't test my patience," Severus interrupted him, turning off the light with his wand. "I won't be yelling at you, because I'm the one who told you to stay here, you stupid boy!"

Harry sighed in frustration and angrily rest his head on the pillow. It didn't come out as vigorously as he intended, though. Everything hurt him.

"Okay, but don't blame me if I wake you up again."

"I'll remember that," he heard Severus' voice in the darkness, and after a moment the mattress next to him sagged. As the man lay down and covered himself with the blanket, the room fell silent.

Harry felt strange, lying next to him in the dark, where the only sounds he could hear were their two rapid breathing. Strange, and at the same time extremely... blissful.

Despite this argument, he couldn't forget what Severus had given him today? and that was much more important than any stupid reproaches. Severus was Severus. He could always complain about everything and Harry knew it. But now he was here. With him. He let him stay here. No, he told him to stay, and that was reassuring. Maybe he wanted him to be here after all. He could have thrown him away. He didn't do it.

He was so close now, at Harry's fingertips. Maybe he could try... try to cuddle up to him a little? All he had to do was move a little... like that.

Harry changed his position slightly, moving closer to Snape. He wanted him close. He was afraid to reach for him, but after what he had experienced in his dream, this fear now seemed childish to him.

He froze when he heard the man move too, moving away from him.

Harry sighed heavily and returned to his spot. It looked like he had reached another frontier, and he would have to wait again for Severus to let him cross it, but he had no doubt it would happen. Not yet, though.

Anyway, that didn't mean he couldn't move forward at least a little. He wanted this. He needed it.

He held his breath and moved his hand through the darkness, searching for...

Yes, he found it!

He tightened his fingers around Snape's hand and waited to see what would happen.

It's okay, he didn't snatch it. It went well.

He carefully rolled onto his side and moved his hands along the man's forearm, stopping at his shoulder. The material of Severus' shirt was velvety smooth, so different from his rough robes. Ignoring the rapid beating of his heart, Harry very slowly moved closer and wrapped his arms around the slender arm.

Yes, that was it. He felt Severus under his fingers. He could smell him. That was enough.

He buried his face into the smooth fabric and pulled his legs up, curling up and sighing in relief.

Yes, he could finally fall asleep. He won't have any nightmares. Because now he truly felt... closeness.

And he thought, judging by Severus' momentary hold of breath, that the man felt it too.

 

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose... you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how it could be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

Cause you're all I want,
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need,
You're everything, everything.* *

"Everything" by Lifehouse