35. Christmas Time

I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
Lost in you, something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I could spend my life lost in you! Lost in you! *

 

Harry's eyes were shining when he finally looked away from the Potions Master, who was clearly irritated by this prolonged contemplation, and reached for the gift. The ball was quite heavy, cool and smooth to the touch. Like glass. It was a strange milky-gray color, as if there were storm clouds inside.

Harry turned it over in his fingers for a moment, but nothing happened.

"What is it for?" he finally asked hesitantly, not wanting to be accused of ignorance if it turned out that he should have known what it was.

"For conjuring images," Severus replied calmly, looking into the fire. "To see the faces of people you miss, people you want to be with but can't be with. You can see them if you just think about them."

"Really?" he asked in disbelief.

It sounded fantastic. He could see, he could...

The ball brightened. Light broke through the clouds and formed an image... and Harry saw his mother's smiling face. She looked so... real. Her amazing green eyes sparkled with joy as she looked up at him.

Harry blinked a few times, unable to believe what he was seeing. He felt his heart flood with a warm glow, the same as the one radiating from the object. He squeezed the ball in his hand, carefully pressed it to his chest as if it was the most precious jewel in the world, and smiled gratefully at Severus.

"It's... it's the greatest gift I've ever received," he whispered. "I will protect it and I will never part with it. Thank you, Severus."

The man turned his head, a hint of a smile appearing on his face and a gleam of satisfaction in his eyes. Harry carefully placed the ball in his pants pocket. He felt a warming warmth in his heart, and he couldn't stop smiling as he reached for the beer, leaned back in his chair and looked at Snape putting his now empty whiskey glass on the table.

"What are we gonna do on all these days?" Harry asked casually.

In his dreams they could only do one, or actually two, things. Make love until he feel unconscious, and then lie down and talk, preferably with a butterbeer in his hand. It was a wonderful vision.

"I don't know what you plan to do, but I assure you that I will be extremely busy. You didn't think I'd let you move in here, did you?"

"No?" Harry muttered with dissatisfaction. "So I didn't need to bring pajamas and a toothbrush," he added, chuckling to himself when Severus gave him a look of disbelief and horror. Unable to control himself, he started laughing out loud. "Kidding. If you could see your face, Severus..." he continued to chuckle, trying to calm himself down "So, what will you be so incredibly busy with?" he finally asked, ignoring Snape's murderous glare.

He already knew that Severus cared and even if he threatened him with the Cruciatus, Harry wouldn't care.

"It's none of your business," the man replied.

"Oh, I just remembered that I'm going to be extremely busy too," Harry said, looking up at the ceiling and pretending to search his memory. Severus gave him a questioning look. "Yes. I'll be busy thinking about you and missing you," Harry added, grinning.

A slight smile appeared on the man's lips.

"Your time would be better spent studying," he said after a while.

"Then you'll have to keep an eye on me," Harry replied cockily. "Or you can teach me. Or I can just study here."

"You never give up, do you?" Severus asked, but thout the usual trace of mockery.

"Correct." Harry jumped up from his chair. He grabbed a Butterbeer and headed towards Severus. "And I won't give up until you try it. You can't even imagine how delicious it is." He stood right in front of Severus, holding out his mug. "Please..."

The man raised his head and looked at him. Harry saw it again. The wild anticipation lurking behind Severus' eyes. Now even clearer and even closer... and he finally understood what it was.

Something that could ignite every nerve in his body in an instant. And it did it.

It was the look of a predator who had finally caught his prey and could finally do to her what had been smoldering in his soul and gaze all the time he had been watching it.

Harry felt Severus's hand tighten on his wrist. The man took the mug from his hand and set it on the table, keeping his eyes on Harry's face before pulling him towards himself, forcing him to straddle his lap. Harry didn't resist. He couldn't take his eyes off that stern, but at that moment so incredibly... gentle face. Black, deep eyes stared at him with attention, interest and what looked like... impatient anticipation, almost on the verge of exploding. It was as if Snape wanted something so badly that he had difficulty keeping himself from simply reaching out and taking it. Something was holding him back, though. His dark eyebrows knitted together and a deep wrinkle appeared at the bridge of his nose. Harry wanted to kiss it. He wanted to kiss that desire from that beautiful face and let it take him away, let it do anything with him.

He raised his hand and gently touched the rough cheek, never taking his eyes off the furrowed face. He felt joy flowing through his veins and his heart felt as light as ever. Severus gave him a gift. Such a wonderful gift.... and there were Christmas holidays... and harry spent it with him.
And...

...and he loved him so much...

Oh.

He thought it. He really thought it!

But he had to admit it eventually. Even though the word seemed so out of place, and even though it seemed so... huge and terrifying to him, it... fit. Because he couldn't imagine life without him anymore. He couldn't imagine going back to the way it was before. He didn't know how he could exist now if someone took Severus away from him.

He leaned forward, brushing away the black strands of hair with his nose and placing a tender kiss just below the man's ear. He didn't take his mouth off the skin for a moment, inhaling Severus' intoxicating scent and enjoying it. He missed him. He missed the incredible feeling of relaxation it induced within him, the dizziness and debilitating current that coursed through his senses. He lazily began to kiss his neck, moving towards his collarbone, while clumsily trying to unbutton the endless row of buttons on the front of Severus' robe. He suspected that the man was wearing it on purpose so that Harry wouldn't have a chance to get to him too quickly, so it was Severus who could do...

Exacly that!

Severus grabbed Harry's hands and pulled him away from him. The boy groaned, and his mind flashed with the thought that he must have done something wrong again, but as soon as he looked into Snape's face, he began to have trouble breathing.

Severus' eyes were burning, and the warm heat that radiated from them reached Harry's heart and squeezed it. Behind those eyes there was something so? something dangerous and at the same time... protective.

Harry held his breath as the black eyes lit up and Severus brought his face close to Harry's and said, his voice heavy with need. "I'll take care of you..."

Harry's eyes widened, feeling his heart leap into his throat and something hard drop into his stomach.

"But I..." he started, but Severus didn't let him finish.

Tha man placed a finger on his parted lips, leaned down to his ear and wrapped his warm breath around it, whispering "Shhh..."

Harry closed his eyes, feeling a shiver in every corner of his body, as if Severus' whisper was spreading in waves across his skin, reaching even the deepest and most distant corners.

A vibrating growl escaped his lips as he felt Snape's hot mouth latch onto his earlobe and suckle hungrily. Harry's head tilted back on its own, allowing Severus' tongue to slide in, penetrating the interior. It was so hot and so wet and... oh! Harry jumped when he felt Snape's hand tighten on his groin, but the man grabbed his hip and held him in place, kneading the hard bulge in Harry's pants with his long fingers and continuing to lick the space behind his ear.

It was... too much. Harry squirmed and moaned, his hands gripping Snape's rough robes as if it was the last thing he could hold onto to keep himself from losing his mind.

He felt dizzy as he felt Snape's hot mouth disappear. He opened his blurred eyes and looked at the man. Severus released his hip and started unbuttoning his pants with both hands. The sound of the button popping open and the zipper slowly being pulled down seemed unusually loud to Harry in the silence surrounding them.

He swallowed. He knew he was incredibly hard. He saw it when Severus unzipped his pants and revealed a distinct bulge pressing against the material of his briefs. He felt himself trembling with anticipation, begging for the touch of those long, cool fingers. Just like he had imagined when he masturbated in the cold at the Hogsmeade Christmas party. And now... now those fingers touched his throbbing cock through the thin material and very slowly moved along its length, making Harry almost howl. It felt so damn good! What could it be like if Severus touched--?

The man glanced at him and Harry saw a mischievous glint in his eyes, but he also saw that he was just as turned on as he was and he didn't even try to hide it. Snape looked down again and licked his lips before he pulled back the waistband of his briefs and dipped his hand into them.

Harry saw the stars as cool fingers wrapped around his penis and squeezed hard before drawing his erection outward. He felt a blush rising to his cheeks as he saw his swollen, bloodshot cock, every millimeter of stretched skin begging for fulfillment, and his red, taut balls. He glanced at Severus and saw the fascinated contemplation on his face. The man was looking at Harry's erection with such attention as if he forgot about everything else, as if this view was the most important thing in the world to him.

Harry felt his cheeks begin to burn unbearably. Severus had seen it many times before, but he had never looked at it like this. And never... by Merlin!... had he ever touched him like that!

He placed his index finger at the very tip and slowly moved it towards his testicles, along one of the throbbing veins.

Harry fought to keep his eyes closed. The view was so incredibly... arousing that it felt like firecrackers of pleasure were going off in his lower abdomen. He didn't try to fight the moans that escaped his lips. He knew Severus liked them, and after he recorded them and saw with his own ears how arousing they could be, he started to like them too.

"Do you like it?" A quiet, strangely hoarse question reached Harry's ears.

"You know I did," he choked out, although he had no idea how he managed it. Severus changed direction and started moving his finger upwards.

"Do you want more?"

Harry gritted his teeth as Severus ran his fingernail over the head, irritating the small hole at the very tip.

Did he want more? What was that question? If his mouth hadn't been too busy moaning, he would have screamed it in his face that yes, he wanted more, more, even harder!

He managed to let out a hoarse moan because there was nothing else he could do.

"I'll take that as confirmation," Severus whispered, a note of malicious satisfaction in his voice.

And he gave him more. He grabbed the head with his thumb and forefinger and began to slide it along the shaft, teasing the skin with his nails. Harry howled and grabbed Snape's robe, feeling like he was going to tear it.

At that moment the man removed his hand and muttered sarcastically. "Well, well, we can't let you come too quickly..."

Harry struggled to open his eyes, feeling dizzy and unable to catch his breath.

Snape reached for Harry's neck and began to remove his tie. He pulled it over his head, threw it on the floor and, without taking his burning gaze away from Harry's red face and steamy glasses, started unbuttoning his shirt. Harry felt every touch of the fingers brushing against the skin of his chest, stomach, belly button, down to... He bit his lip to stifle a sigh as the hands touched the sensitive spot on his lower abdomen.

The Potions Master unbuttoned the last button, and removed the shirt from Harry's shoulders, letting it hang halfway down his back, stopping at the crook of his elbows. Something behind Severus' eyes howled and lunged forward, but the man managed to stop it. For now.

Harry sighed, feeling the gentle touch of cool fingers on his neck. He tilted his head back, not letting go the Severus' robe, and let the man's fingers trace his exposed throat, stroking it and moving down to his shoulders and chest. He wasn't sure if it was just a figment of his overactive, wild imagination, or if Snape's hands actually were shaking slightly as they explored his skin, as if they were trying to memorize it.

The nails found the nipples and began to draw tighter circles around them, getting closer to the sensitive spots, and as soon as they brushed them, Harry whimpered and jumped, a jolt of pain through him, as he leaned forward and his eyes snapped open. What he saw on Severus' face made him freeze for a moment. The man seemed to be completely focused on him, as if nothing else existed apart from Harry, his body, and his pale, soft skin.

Harry cleared his throat and found he could speak again. He moved even closer and whispered in Severus' face, looking into his eyes burning like in a trance "I love the way you touch me."

Harry saw something behind the man's eyes shift again. So violent that he leaned back involuntarily.

"What else do you like?" Severus murmured, rubbing Harry's nipples with his nails. The painful current that shot through his senses was unbearable and Harry howled, bouncing on the man's lap, unable to control it.

Only when his pounding heart calmed down a bit and Snape's hands slid down to the slightly less sensitive areas around his stomach and hips was Harry able to answer. "I love your scent." He bit his lip as hands slid gently down either side, stroking the taut skin. "I love your voice." The Potions Master's fingers began to make lazy circles, stroking the trembling abdominal muscles. "I love... ah!" He jumped when Snape's finger dipped into his navel. "I love... I love everything you do with me. And I love... ah!" This time, his fingers brushed the sensitive skin just below his navel. "I love that I can... give you all of me."

This time, it was Severus' deep groan that escaped from his mouth, and Harry had time to look at his face just as the thing behind Severus' eyes burst out, took control of him, and lunged at Harry.

The man grabbed him tightly and pulled him closer, pressing his lips to Harry's chest and kissing the taut skin so passionately as if nothing else mattered. Harry gasped in surprise and looked down at Severus's clenched eyes, his wrinkled forehead, and his expression that was so, so... amazing. Different. Harry couldn't name it.

He raised his trembling hands and tangled his fingers in the man's long black hair, feeling every movement of his head as Severus ran his mouth and nose over his skin, kissing it and inhaling its scent deeply into his nostrils, and Harry could do nothing but moan and watch the dark head moving against his chest with disbelief and delight.

As Snape began to run his tongue along Harry's sternum, from his chest, up to the base of his neck, Harry unconsciously began to stroke the man's hair. The soft purr that escaped the man's lips made Harry feel almost his entire body covered with goosebumps. He gritted his teeth as he saw Severus stop his mouth just before one of the red nipples and lift his eyelids slightly. Harry couldn't see the expression in his eyes, but he could clearly see his tongue darting out and brushing against his nipple. At first, only once, as if to tease him. And he succeeded brilliantly, Harry thought, as he shuddered and tightened his grip on the soft hair. Then the man did again... and again... and Harry was watching with red cheeks and blurry vision as that incredibly warm and wet tip of the tongue teased the nipple with quick, merciless lashings, moving up and down and it looked so, so... Merlin!

He couldn't stand it. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, fighting the moans escaping from his mouth.

No, he wanted to, he had to see it! He forced his eyes open just as Severus began to rub his tongue in tight circles around Harry's nipple, and each hot and sticky touch was like a whiplash that jolted his entire body, putting it in a constant state of tension.

Harry had to part his mouth because he was out of breath and felt as if there was suddenly no air in the room to breathe.

"I can't..." he heard a pitiful moan and only after a while he realized that it was he who had uttered it. Severus stopped the torture and raised his head. Harry took a deep breath, but the moment his eyes met the man's gaze, all the air left his lungs again.

Severus looked dazed, his eyes were shining with something heavy and wild, something that had been starved and was now distracted from its meal. He looked as if he had a fever, his red cheeks contrasting with his usual pale complexion. Harry couldn't take his eyes off him.

It was so clear... and now he knew what it was... and he saw it too when Severus moved his gaze back to his chest, licked his lips and pressed his lips to his other nipple.

It was a lust.

Severus looked as if he had no control over himself at all, as if everything else ceased to exist for him, as if he was absolutely lost in Harry... and Harry lost himself in the overwhelming feeling of happiness when he realized this and let his thoughts drift away, focusing only on the lips and tongue that Severus was caressing his body with, so wonderfully.

The Potions Master was kissing his body, licking it and moaning, biting the nipple and leaving red marks on Harry's body as he writhed in pleasure. Black strands of the man's hair were brushing against Harry's hot skin, and hot lips were kissing their way from his chest to the neck and shoulders. Harry felt hard, uncontrollable bites that made him moan every time as Severus alternately kissed and licked his arms and shoulders, from his collarbone to the elbows.

He was so dizzy that if he hadn't untangled his fingers from the man's hair and grabbed onto Snape's robe, he might have slid down Snape's lap and landed on the floor. He couldn't form a single coherent thought beyond the hoarse scream echoing in his head Yes, yes, good! More! Yes, yes, wonderful!

Severus' hands ran into his hair. Harry purred, giving in to this incredibly pleasant feeling. Snape stroked Harry's scalp for a moment, moving his fingers through the black strands, then tightened and pulled, tilting Harry's head back and pressing his lips to Harry's exposed neck. The man closed his lips on the small piece of skin and began to suck, almost driving Harry insane. When the boy was almost levitating, Severus stopped and pressed his thirsty mouth against the next fragment, torturing him until Harry began to whimper.

After an endless torment of pleasure, he felt those hot lips reach his ear and through his own loud moans harry heard a completely hoarse, almost desire-burned whisper "Are you feeling pleasure?"

What? Severus asked him something? But how was he supposed to answer if he couldn't even remember what the vocal cords were used for, other than moaning?

"Yes," he finally managed. ?I'm feeling..."

He wasn't able to finish, not when that incredibly hot tongue grazed his neck.

"What are you feeling?" Severus muttered, his hot breath fanning over the damp skin.

"I feel... you. Everywhere. And..."He had to stop to catch the breath escaping from his lungs when Severus stopped his mouth millimeters from his ear and panted heavily, as if he was waiting for Harry's answer. "And I feel... happy. And I want... you to be happy too," he uttered and turned his face, looking straight into the man's misty, ebony eyes, now only a few centimeters from his own.

They were so close. He felt Severus' warm breath on his face. Severus, who looked so... different. His hair was messy and tangled. Thin lips, red and swollen, moist and slightly parted, looked so... inviting... but Harry didn't dare reach for it. Despite the daze he was in, he remembered this lesson perfectly.

He quickly moved his gaze to the flames curling in the black pupils and felt a simultaneously pleasant and painful twinge in his loins.

So close. So close. He felt it with all his being. With every piece of heated skin. And he wanted more. Even more.

He tilted his head and rubbed his cheek against the man's rough cheek. He closed his eyes, losing himself in the incredible feeling of flesh touching flesh. Skin to skin. He let go of the robe and placed his hand on Severus' other cheek.... and he felt Severus' face getting warmer, warming up under his touch and the gentle rubbing of his cheeks.

It was such an intimate moment... and Harry felt it in his heart... and he had to do something, he had to say something to get it out. To convey what he feels now.

"Severus, I..." he whispered and stopped. He felt confused. He wanted to say something, but it was too much. Where would he start? "I?" The Potions Master moved his face away and looked at him. All the words flew out of his mind again. Harry swallowed, preparing for another attempt. He opened his mouth and...

...he let out a loud sigh when the man grabbed the hand that was still resting on his cheek and brought it to his lips to kiss it. Harry, feeling warm lips pressing against the inside of his hand, completely forgot about what he was about to do or say a moment ago.

The absurd thought ran through his befuddled mind that he would probably never wash that hand again... and knowing that Severus' lips had touched it, he would kiss it, too. Every day.

The man let go of his hand and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply. Harry, acting on instinct, moved it down, stopping at the incredibly hard bulge in the man's pants. His eyes lit up when he felt it, but he wasn't happy for long because Severus grabbed his hand and placed it back on his robe. His mouth stretched into a smirk, and the crease between his eyebrows deepened. It seemed that Severus had finally managed to regain some composure.

"I'm not done with you yet," he murmured.

Harry almost levitated off his lap as he felt long fingers tighten carefully around his trembling erection. If he had been incredibly excited before, now he had the impression that even the slightest touch would be too much for him.

"No... I can't last much longer," he choked out, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to keep his hips in one position.

"I know..." Severus replied softly. "I'll do it gently."

As if to confirm these words, he began to slowly, almost lazily, move his hand along the shaft, creating a small tunnel with his hand, the walls of which only slightly touched Harry's throbbing erection... but it was still... it was...

"Oh shit!" Harry gasped, moving his hips in rhythm with the hand moving over his penis and rhythmically pulling Snape's robe. He couldn't keep his eyes open. He squeezed his eyes shut so tightly that he could see white spots flashing beneath them. All his senses were focused on just this one organ, just this one cool hand, sliding over his hot skin and causing an explosion of increasingly painful pleasure in his loins.

"Am I doing it right?" Harry felt as if a question had reached his ears, but his mushy mind took a moment to react. He detected a hint of malice in the question.

"Perfect," he replied in a trembling whisper. He didn't know how he managed to answer coherently, because it felt like there was nothing left of his senses.

"Are you sure?" Another ironic question. "Well, I don't know... Maybe I should speed up?"

And he did it. Harry's whole body jerked up and his hands pulled hard at the robe on the man's chest.

Harry began shaking his head desperately. He didn't want to cum so quickly. He wanted this overwhelming feeling to last and last and last... and never end.

"No?" Severus pretended to feel disappointed. "Well... maybe we can try doing this?"

The Potions Master opened his hand and moved it lower, touching Harry's tense, trembling balls.

Oh, that was even better!

Harry whimpered and shuddered again, pulling at the man's robe so hard that he was close to tearing it. Severus' finger moved even lower and started stroking the place just behind the balls and it felt so wonderful...

Harry involuntarily spread his legs, wanting even more, and Severus flexed his finger, irritating the point with his fingernail.

"Ah!" Harry gasped and suddenly opened his watery eyes, looking at his red, almost burgundy penis.

He couldn't, he couldn't any longer...

His vision was blurry, but he still saw a lone drop that appeared at the very tip of the head of his throbbing erection and slowly trickled down it.

No, not yet!

But it was so...

"Ah!" he moaned again when Snape removed his hand and placed a finger on the shaft, stopping the stray drop.

Harry gritted his teeth, holding back with all his strength, knowing that he couldn't handle it, that he couldn't?

Severus licked his lips and slowly moved his finger up, guiding a drop back towards the head and collecting another as he went, before gently smearing it all over the tip.

With the last of his strength, Harry looked at Snape's face as the man slowly wrapped his hand around his erection, trembling spasmodically and begging for relief... and that's when Severus lifted his head, looking into Harry's eyes, and the fire burning in both of them merged and burned even hotter.

Severus squeezed.

Harry felt himself drifting away, slipping and falling... and he started to scream. He was screaming so long and so loud as if he would never finish. His body melted, burned and turned to ash. He didn't know how it was possible that he was bending and shaking like that, trembling in spasms and unable to let go of the black robe. He felt that rough hand gripping his erection all the time. He saw white streams of cum shooting out of it with such force that they almost reached their faces. He felt a few drops reached his cheek, and the cheek of Severus, who was looking at him with fascination.

And he knew that he had never, never in his life been as happy as he was now.

The vibrations of the orgasm wandered through his body for a very, very long time, and the delicious pleasure that flooded his loins slowly dissolved and turned into a warm trembling of relaxed muscles.

A blissful look of fulfillment appeared on his face. He fell forward and rested his forehead on Severus' shoulder, trying to catch his breath. He was smiling, and he felt as if that smile would never leave his face again.

"That was wonderful..." he murmured into the man's shoulder, feeling the Potions Master free his penis. "Thank you, Severus."

"You're welcome, Mr. Potter," Snape replied, a hint of mischief in his voice. Harry felt Severus' arms wrap around his waist. He smiled even happier and pressed his face into the man's neck.

He didn't move for a while, unable to force his sore muscles to move. Besides, he felt so wonderful. He could smell Severus, hear his breathing and be so close to him. He didn't want it to end.

He couldn't stay here forever, though. When his breathing evened out and his heart calmed down a little, he forced his body to work and moved, shifting his hips a little... and then he felt it. Severus' painfully hard erection pressing into his thigh.

Oh shit! Snape hasn't come yet! Harry felt like the worst egoist... but how could he think about it when he couldn't even remember his own name for a while?

The moment he moved, he heard a soft sigh escaping the man's lips. Severus slid his hands down Harry's back and tightened them on his buttocks. Very strong.

Harry licked his dry lips. The grip was so strong, so full of... desire, that he shuddered involuntarily.

He raised his head, put his mouth to Severus' ear and asked in a whisper "Do you want to come inside me?"

"Yes..." There was only need in the man's hoarse voice.

"I want that too," he replied, rubbing his cheek against the Potions Master's rough skin. He reached down into his pants to lift his hips and slide them down, but the grip on his wrists stopped him. He pulled back and looked with surprise into the black irises that were looking at him, shooting sparks.

"Not here," the man said quietly. Harry couldn't take his eyes off the man's eyes. They were hungry and thirsty... and Harry knew that only he could satisfy him.

He nodded and slowly slid off of Snape's lap. Severus rose slowly from the chair and, without looking at him anymore, headed towards the bedroom.

Harry's legs were still weak as he followed the man, feeling a nervous flutter in his stomach. He didn't say a word when Severus stopped and let him go ahead.

They were going to do it in the bedroom. They were going to do it in Severus' bed. This was... much more serious than anything before.

Harry didn't know why, but he couldn't help but shiver as his eyes fell on the wide bed covered with black sheets and the door behind him closed with a soft click.

 

Can I be dreaming once again?
I'm reaching helpless I descend
You lead me deeper through this maze
I'm not afraid

I'm lost in you everywhere I run
Everywhere I turn I'm finding something new
Lost in you, something I can't fight
I cannot escape
I could spend my life lost in you! Lost in you!

Your whispers fill these empty halls
I'm searching for you as you call
I'm racing, chasing after you
I need you more

I could never be the same
Something that I could never erase
I could never look away
I lost myself in you!*

 

* "Lost" by Red