42. Special evening

 

I want it now
I want it now
Give me your heart and your soul
And I'm breaking out
I'm breaking out
Last chance to lose control*

 

TRAGIC NIGHT IN HAMPSTONE - 12 MURDERED MUGGLES

- screamed the headline on the front page of the Daily Prophet, which Harry placed next to his breakfast plate. He didn't want to read it, he didn't have the strength to do so. He just pursed his lips and stared at the unfinished sausage, feeling that he had suddenly lost all appetite. His stomach felt like it was in knots.

Neither Snape nor Dumbledore showed up for breakfast. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the fifth-year Hufflepuff unfold his copy of The Prophet and, with another Hufflepuff of a similar age sitting next to him, begin a whispered conversation, full of terrified sighs and incredulous shaking of the heads. Harry heard only fragments of their conversation:

"...skinned... can you imagine..."

"...four completely burned houses... atrocity..."

"...a one-and-a-half-year-old child... all the bones were broken and crushed..."

"...it's horrible... it's good that I stayed at Hogwarts..."

Harry just wanted them to shut up. He didn't want to look at it, he didn't want to hear about it. Not now, not today, not on a day like this!

"Harry, are you okay? You look like you were attacked by the Mindbiters. These are little creatures that come in through the nose when someone is depressed and eat their brains. And this makes you feel even more depressed because your thoughts have less space and keep going around in circles.

Harry blinked and turned his head to Luna. The Ravenclaw was staring at him with concern, and at first he was tempted to tell her what he had been thinking about the rest of the night when he finally returned to his dormitory, about everything that had kept him awake. About how Snape had murdered those Muggles, and he'd fucked him yesterday, right after he'd done it... How he hadn't even thought about them for a second as he watched in disbelief as Severus licked his cum from his fingers, tasting it like some kind of ambrosia. About how Snape cursed him, that he wanted to throw the Cruciatus at him, but Harry didn't let him, and then he felt so inexpressibly happy that everything else stopped mattering to him. About how when he returned to the dormitory and looked in the mirror, his face was covered in their blood, which Severus had left on his skin like a mark. How his insides twitched every time he thought about it, but at the same time he couldn't shake the burning joy in his heart that he had managed to break him and that he would be spending the evening, and the night with him, and that Severus let him bring his toothbrush and his pajamas, and...

...damn it!

"Yes, okay," he finally managed to utter. The girl frowned, then looked at the newspaper lying on the table, and something like... understanding appeared on her face.

"Oh, I think there's a reason," she said carelessly, and then, as if nothing had happened, she grabbed the newspaper and put it in her colorful, nail-decorated purse. "My daddy always says that there's no point in worrying about things we can't control. But he adds that then it should be described. But then others will start to worry about it instead, so I don't think that's such a good idea. Because not only would others start worrying, but they would also make us worry... Don't you think so?" She gave him a wide smile.

Harry felt lost. He couldn't think about such twisted, philosophical considerations right now.

"What?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. Luna leaned towards him and whispered:

"It's just that the most important thing is what you feel. Not what's happening around you. Harry, you're the only one who feels pain when you hurt your hand."

The boy blinked, completely not understanding what his friend was getting at.

"So no one has the right to tell you that you shouldn't feel it. Because this pain is only yours, it belongs to you. They don't feel it or understand it. So you shouldn't feel guilty about it."

Harry smiled slightly and nodded. He didn't even say a word, and she still knew what was bothering him. How?

However, he no longer had any appetite. Therefore, he said goodbye and slowly moved towards Gryffindor Tower. He didn't sleep at all last night. Besides, when he came back to his room, it was almost three o'clock, and he was so shaken and excited by all the events that he didn't even think about something as trivial as sleep. Thoughts and memories swirled in his head. The image of Snape... Snape dressed in Death Eater robes, Snape covered in blood, Snape looking at him as if Harry was some...bloody miracle of nature.

His heart melted, forgetting the dirt and remorse.

 

***

For the fifth time in just two minutes, Harry looked in the mirror to make sure he looked good. This time he had neither the saleswoman nor Ginny at his disposal, by whose reactions he could judge it.

Severus said he would prepare dinner, which in itself was so abstract that it required a specific dress code. Moreover, it was to be their last night together, because all students were going to return tomorrow afternoon, which meant the end of their daily and all-night meetings. Harry felt sad about this, especially since after what had happened tonight, he suspected that everything would change and look completely different now. And he sincerely hoped that it would be a change for the better.

He looked in the mirror again and tried to smooth out the wrinkles on the dark navy blue, tight-fitting blouse, made of a soft, pleasant to the touch material and decorated with white stripes that wrapped around the wrists of slightly too long sleeves. He matched it with equally dark, navy blue trousers made of a material resembling denim, but much smoother to the touch, and black shoes.

He thought he looked good, but the lack of any confirmation made him not so sure. He just wanted to dress nicely. This was supposed to be a special evening after all. He hoped that Snape would appreciate it this time too. After all, he had been waiting for this moment all day long.

Severus did not show up for any meals, and Harry was assigned by Professor McGonagall to clean the Great Hall after the New Year's Eve fireworks before dinner. In the afternoon he went to visit Hagrid. When saying goodbye, he announced that he would not come for dinner because he was tired from the previous night without sleep and would like to go to bed earlier.

He smoothed his hair sticking out in all directions a few times, which, as usual, turned out to be completely ineffective, then he smiled at his reflection in the mirror, grabbed the bag in which he had previously packed his pajamas and cosmetics, along with the Marauder's Map. He put on the invisibility cloak and, swallowing his nervousness and the impatient knot in his stomach, went down to the dungeons.

By the time he stopped in front of the door, he was just a walking bundle of nerves. He didn't know what to expect. It's true that Severus' behavior yesterday, when Harry left his chambers, was exceptionally... hmm, one could say polite, if that word, combined with Severus Snape, was not such an oxymoron. Well, let's say extremely... calm. But Harry knew him well enough to know one thing - he could never predict his behavior, and knowing that, apart from being undoubtedly annoying, was also extremely... exciting.

He raised his hand to touch the door, which, as always, opened on its own, and he walked through the office, taking off his cloak as he went, feeling the anxious gnawing in his stomach. When he entered the living room, immersed in the half-lights softly vibrating on the walls, the first thing he saw was the fixed and motionless look of the black eyes of Severus, who was sitting in an armchair and apparently waiting for him for some time. Harry had the distinct impression that as soon as he entered, the gaze became even more piercing, and the slight smile that appeared on the man's face unnerved him. Just like those amazing eyes that slid down his body, devouring his entire figure in an almost physical way. The smile on Severus' face grew wider and Harry almost completely forgot where his vocal cords had gone when he realized that the man was probably just... happy to see him.

"Uh..." he finally said. "Good evening, S-Severus."

"Good evening, Potter," the man replied calmly, and for a moment Harry felt as if he was going to have to search for his jaw on the floor.

Snape answered him. Well, that was... peculiar.

His gaze fell on the table covered with several plates. He saw baked rabbit, fish in jelly and something that looked like... pears covered with chocolate. He blinked, surprised, because he didn't remember such dishes ever appearing on the tables of Hogwarts students. It looked like Snape had prepared everything himself.

Another thing to note on the "shocks of the evening" list.

There were two glasses next to the empty plates. One contained a dark red, velvety liquid, the other a light yellow, transparent drink with bubbles.

"Oh, that looks really tasty," Harry finally said when he got over his surprise. He set aside his cloak and bag and stepped closer, then plopped down into the armchair. The man followed his every move carefully.

Why was Severus looking at him in such a strange way? Completely different than usual. Harry felt uneasy under that look, but he couldn't put his finger on why.

"Did you prepare all this by yourself?" he asked, looking at the table covered with dishes.

"Sometimes the ability to brew poisons and potions is useful for other things as well," the man replied, smiling at the corner of his mouth. "These kinds of things don't seem complicated, comparing to brewing potions." After these words, he leaned down and placed a piece of rabbit in a fragrant wine sauce on Harry's plate.

"It's very complicated for me," Harry replied, picking up his fork and smiling broadly. "Even though I've been cooking for the Dursleys since I was eight, I still couldn't do something like that. I once burned French pancakes and as punishment I was given only water and bread for three days. "Seeing Severus' eyes widen unnaturally, he shoved a forkful of food into his mouth, deciding that it would be better if he shut up, because in a moment he would be completely embarrass himself. "Mmmm, delicious," he murmured with delight as he swallowed the first bite.

Snape didn't touch the food. He looked at Harry as if he saw him for the first time in his life.

"Did Dumbledore know that your relatives were starving you?" he finally asked.

"Uh..." Harry froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. "I don't know. Maybe. I guess. I don't know if you could call it starvation, they just--"

"--they were reluctant to give you food," Snape finished for him.

"Yes. No. I mean--" Harry sighed deeply. He didn't know how to explain it anymore. Why was he speaking at all? "I think they... well, after all, they put a roof over my head and raised me and did everything they could to--"

"Are these their words or yours?" Severus interrupted him sharply. Harry put another bite into his mouth and looked away. How was he supposed to answer that?

"They... tried. They hated me so they could have just thrown me out on the street, but they didn't."

"And you think this is any justification for starving, beating--"

"But they didn't--"

"--tortures, persecutions and--" Severus stopped suddenly and pursed his lips as if he had said something he shouldn't have. Harry stared at him with wide eyes. "Never mind," he said after a moment, putting the fork in his mouth.

Harry felt his heart warm as he looked at Severus' frowning brow as the man leaned over his dinner. He didn't think Severus would care so much about what happened to him at the Dursleys'. He thought it must have been like that. Dumbledore never seemed to care much about it, never looked so... outraged.

And that thought was incredibly sweet, despite the bitterness it evoked.

"Don't think that I've always been submissive and let them do whatever they want," he said, taking another bite. He felt the man's eyes on him. "I rebelled. The summer before third grade, I inflated my aunt." He chuckled at the man's surprised look. "By mistake. And then... I packed up and ran away."

Severus' eyebrows went up.

"Excuse me?" He swallowed his food and stared at Harry incredulously.

"I ran away. I was fed up with them. I know what you want to say," he interrupted Severus, who was already opening his mouth. "It was childish, stupid and dangerous, but I had to. I couldn't stand it any longer. Then I came across the Knight Bus, and everything ended well."

"You've always had more luck than sense," Severus snorted, and Harry couldn't help but smile in amusement.

"After that, they were afraid of me and left me alone most of the time. And it's been like that till this day. They like to pretend I don't exist. It's convenient for them," he said, taking another bite. "At least they don't harass me anymore." He reached for a glass of wine and took a few refreshing sips. Severus also reached for a glass. "So you see, you don't have to worry about me so much anymore." Harry grinned and couldn't help but laugh when the man choked on his wine.

"Your delusion flatters me," Severus replied quietly, looking him straight in the eye.

"You know, I have a vivid imagination," Harry said cheekily. "I can imagine many things..."

Snape's eyes lit up with interest.

"For example?"

For example, how you kiss me... he thought, but he didn't dare to say it out loud. He licked his lips and for a moment just stared at those deep eyes opposite him, drawing him in.

"For example things I can't have..."

Severus shook his head and reached for the fish platter.

"We can't have everything," he said once he'd helped himself and Harry and put the plate back on the table. There was a bitter note in his voice.

The boy bit his lip. The areas he ventured into were too... muddy, so he preferred to retreat while he still could. He took a fork and dipped it into the fish.

"You know... this is our last evening together. And the night," he said after a while. Severus looked at him over his glass.

"And?"

"Well... I just wanted to make sure you knew," he said, blushing slightly. "We'll only have detentions left. Maybe you could give me an extra detention during class sometimes... you know, so we could see each other more often." He raised his head and met the man's staring gaze.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Severus admitted seriously. "You have detention with me twice a week anyway. If I tried to give you even more, it might seem suspicious, or at least raise some uncomfortable questions, and we don't want that, right?"

Harry sighed. "No, we don't want that."

"Good boy."

Harry saw a brief gleam in Severus' eyes and allowed his lips to stretch into a smile, despite the disappointment he felt.

"Then I'll have to masturbate more often," he replied defiantly, and was pleased to see the man's eyebrows go up. "I'll start tomorrow evening. I suspect I'll be completely hard by then. You won't touch me for... how long? Probably for half a day..." He couldn't stand it anymore and laughed. Severus gave him a half-amused, half-amazed look.

"Direct as always," he muttered, taking the last bite of fish.

"It never bothered you. Besides, I suspect... that you will do the same," he said defiantly.

"And it does not bother me. But I have to disappoint you... my hands will be occupied with some completely different tasks."

Harry felt a sudden, inexplicable tightening in his heart.

"That is?"

"It's none of your business, Potter," the man replied calmly, his eyes shining as he said it. Harry knew he wouldn't get an answer out of him, but he tried a few more times anyway, eating Belle Helene - yes, Severus had told him the name of 'that delicious pear dish' - and joking with him about various topics, although joking was the last thing that he expected to ever do with the Potions Master.

"That was delicious," Harry sighed as he took the last piece of pear and scooped up the chocolate sauce before putting it in his mouth and letting it melt on his tongue. "It's the best thing I've ever eaten in my life," he declared once he had swallowed the rest of the wonderful sweetness and opened his eyes, looking with delight at Snape, who was smiling under his breath.

He reached for his glass and drank the rest of the champagne. The bubbles foamed in his mouth, pleasantly massaging his palate. He sighed and looked at Snape with a slightly dazed, cloudy look. He liked the way the drink warmed his insides and relaxed him.

"I... uh..." he stammered, unable to force his mind to function normally. Not when Severus was staring at him like that all the time. And when he felt a little too dizzy from drinking alcohol. "Could I have another pour?" he asked and waved his empty glass.

"Go right ahead." The Potions Master pointed towards the cabinet.

"I'm going to," he replied and smiled brightly. The man's eyes widened for a moment and Harry felt as if Severus was almost absorbing his smile.

He got up and walked to the counter next to the bar. He placed his glass on the dark wood and opened the cabinet door.

"What was it called?" he asked, looking at the row of different types of bottles.

"Dom PĂŠrignon," he heard the quiet reply. He leaned forward, squinting as he read the names on the labels. Chianti, Chablis, Jack Daniels, Absinthe, Martini, Bourbon, Tequila... It's there!

He took a dark, shiny bottle from the cabinet and set it on the counter to remove the cork, but then he felt a movement behind him and Severus's black cloth hand appeared next to him, dipping into the cabinet and grabbing a square bottle with a black label of Jack Daniels.

"I'll have a drink too." The man's voice was strangely strangled and hoarse. Harry watched as the slender hand placed the bottle on the counter and gripped it a little too tightly. He heard heavy, quick breathing behind him and could almost feel the touch of a dark, intense gaze on him. But before he could turn his head, before he could make any move, he saw the man's hand suddenly push the bottle away and - oh gods! - it hugged him around the waist, while the other one wrapped around his chest like a snake, squeezing with such force as if it was going to take the breath away from him. Severus pulled him closed and embraced him tightly, almost hungrily, burying his face in his hair and inhaling its scent deeply.

There was absolute silence, and Harry could only hear the loud beating of his own heart, which seemed to be screaming oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, in the rhythm of the beats.

Severus held Harry close with such force, as if he was afraid that Harry might break free at any moment and run away, as if he never intended to let go of him. There was something about this greedy embrace... an irresistible need for closeness, sudden and apparently not fully conscious, an impulse that made Severus grab, embrace, touch, feel... So close...

And Harry surrendered to it, taking in the smell of dark robes rustling around him, the hot breath blowing through his hair and the strength of the arms tightly wrapped around him... And he knew that from now on everything would be fine. That with his small victory yesterday, everything had changed... He felt warmth flow into his heart and his eyes began to sting unbearably.

He had a hard time swallowing his saliva because it felt like something sour had lodged itself in his throat, constricting it unnaturally. He sighed deeply, sinking deeper into the embrace of Severus' arms.

Suddenly the man moved. The impulse withdrew, replaced by cold awareness. Severus cleared his throat and released Harry, moving away from him. He took the bottle in his hand and walked back to the table without a word. The boy stood for a moment, trying to fight the heat sinking in his insides, that impossible twisting desire in his stomach to feel that warmth again. He uncorked the bottle and without thinking, put it to his mouth, taking a few solid sips. Oh yes, he felt a heat... a heat spreading through his body that made him forget about the champagne, forget about dinner, forget about everything and head towards the armchair where Severus was sitting, staring into his glass and obviously thinking about something. It was this heat that made him grab the glass and take it from his hand, ignoring the surprised look in his dark eyes, and then sit on his lap and wrap his arms around his slim shoulders, pressing his whole body to his. The whole trembling body, craving closeness.

The alcohol rushing through his veins seemed to direct him and scream in his ear how much he wanted this man. Harry felt this desire with his whole body, he let it control him and the only thing that mattered to him at that moment was satisfying it, feeling Severus with his skin, lips and filling his loins with him. He pressed his lips to the cool neck, closed his eyes and began to kiss it, absorbing its taste with all his senses. He pressed his lips to the place where he could feel the man's racing pulse and left them there for a few moments, enjoying each gentle beat of the blood flowing under the skin. After a while, however, he abandoned this place, closing the soft earlobe in his hot lips.

"Mmm..." Severus murmured, tilting his head slightly and allowing Harry to reach deeper. The boy could only hear the frantic beating of his own heart as he let his tongue wander around the warm interior and lick the space behind the ear while black strands tickled his face, brushed his nose and fell behind his glasses. The purrs the man let out were like the most beautiful music to him, and only he, Harry, only he knew how to get them out of him.

"Do you like it when I do this?" he asked quietly, catching the petal in his teeth and pulling it lightly, like a naughty puppy that got his paws on his favorite toy.

"Uhm..." Severus murmured, stiffening for a moment and tightening his hands on Harry's hips. The boy smiled to himself and started moving his hips slightly. The strangled moan that escaped the man's thin lips was his best assurance that Severus was as excited as he was. He felt the arousal as he moved his hips over the bulge in the man's pants that was getting harder by the moment, as he rubbed his own trapped and hard erection against it.

He felt dizzy, but he didn't know if it was from the alcohol or the excitement coursing through his veins. And he wanted more. He wanted to feel it on his skin, in every nook and cranny of his body. And he wanted Severus to feel it too.

"Do you like fucking me?" he asked directly into the man's ear, blowing his hot, quick breath over it.

"Yes. I must admit, it's quite nice," Snape replied quietly, slipping his cool hands under Harry's blouse and touching his heated skin, and Harry saw in his mind's eye a smirk playing on the thin lips.

"What are you thinking about when you do it? What are you thinking about when you're fucking me?" Harry moved his face slightly to look at the man's face. Severus bit his lip. Oh, did he like that dirty talk?

"About your soft buttocks," he replied in a slightly breathless voice, his trembling hands roaming Harry's back as he purred softly with pleasure. "About you, kneeling in front of me with your ass stuck out and your legs spread wide. About the way you moan my name. About how your body opens up when I enter you and hit that spot inside you and you almost melt in my hands... and how much you like it."

Harry felt his face heat up as he listened to Severus' deep voice saying such things. Snape's eyes, watching him, gleamed predatorily, and the corner of his mouth twitched slightly.

Oh, no, Harry can't let him embarrass him like this! He was supposed to lead him to--

Harry composed himself and allowed a cheeky smile to spread across his lips.

"But you won't guess what I like the most..."

"Yes? I can't wait for you to reveal it to me..."

He moved his face even closer and pressed his hot lips to the man's wet ear.

"What I like most is when you pull it out of your black robes and hold it in your hand. I love looking at it, at its throbbing, red head and the stretched skin on it. Against the dark stain of your robes, it looks so... huge and hot. And I want to touch it so much... lick it..." Harry felt Severus' nails digging into his back. "Press my lips around it and put it into my mouth so deeply that I can feel its tip tickling my throat..."

He heard Severus inhale the breath with each word, and when he pulled his head away, he saw the faintest blush on the man's face, lost in the vision Harry had created. Oh, and he felt it as well. Snape was already rock hard.

"Do you like..." The man's voice was a bit hoarse when he spoke. He seemed to have difficulty speaking. He cleared his throat and squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Do you like it when I enter you with it?"

"Oh, yes," Harry moaned, moving his hips harder and in sensual circles, which caused Severus' nails to dig even harder into his flesh. But it didn't bother him. "I can imagine you doing it now. How you fill me up. Can you feel it? Can you feel me fucking on you? Can you feel my hot insides tightening around you?"

Severus moaned loudly and Harry felt flames twisting in his lower abdomen, licking him from the inside.

"Potter, you're--" Severus started, but obviously couldn't finish. He licked his dry lips. "Go on. Don't stop."

It was encouraging. Harry smiled to himself. He changed the angle of his movement slightly, pressing even harder against the man's rock-hard erection.

"It's much more wonderful than when you do it yourself, isn't it?" he murmured into his ear. "I know you do it. I know that at night, when I'm away, you wrap your hand around it and give yourself quick and rough hand-job, thinking only about me, right? Admit it. You do this."

The man's lips stretched into a smile.

"Nothing can be hidden from you..." he replied in a breathless voice.

Harry would give anything right now to find out if it was just a joke or if Severus really--

However, he didn't have time to finish this thought, because the man opened his shining eyes, immersed in the vapor of desire, pulled one hand from under his blouse and, biting his lower lip, pushed his long fingers into Harry's mouth.

"Suck it."

It was only a quiet whisper, but there was something about it that made Harry unable to disobey the order. He gently grabbed the wrist and closed his eyes, enjoying the sour taste of the stained and callused skin. He savored the slender fingers for a moment, moisturizing them, then pulled them out of his mouth, leaving only the index finger in there. Cool and damp. He ran his hot tongue over it, from base to tip, just as he always did when caressing Severus's erection, looking straight into the wide, possessed eyes of the man. He wrapped his lips around the slender finger and began to move them up and down along its entire length, sucking it deep into his mouth and running his wet tongue over it. The eyes of the man watching him widened more and more, drinking in the sight, reveling in it.

"Wonderful..." he whispered at one point, his voice so hoarse as if he had swallowed broken glass. Harry felt a shiver travel down his body from his neck to his feet as Severus slipped a wet finger from the hot interior of his mouth and placed his hand on Harry's cheek in the gentlest of caresses.

Harry stopped moving his hips for a moment, absorbing the touch with all his senses, but then he heard the man whisper again:

"Don't stop."

Harry resumed his sensual dance, moving his hips in lazy circles and watching in delight as Severus closed his eyes and tilted his head back, completely surrendering to the sensations attacking him. Oh, he looked so beautiful with those parted lips and gently raised eyebrows. Harry reveled in the sight, absolutely enchanted by it, as the man's hand slowly slid down his face and stopped on his chest. Harry leaned forward and rubbed his cheek against Severus' one. He heard his rapid breathing and felt the sharp hairs of his beginning stubble as he rubbed his skin against it. At one point he realized that, completely unconsciously, he began to place gentle kisses on the man's face, on his forehead, temples and cheeks, moving lower and lower. He stuck out his tongue and licked his chin, hearing Severus gasp for air. He tore his head away for a moment, and then, surprised at his own boldness, bit the man's lower lip very hard.

"Ah!" Severus gasped and opened his eyes suddenly.

Harry saw fire in them. Consuming everything, wreaking havoc, absorbing blackness. Reaching so deep that it felt as if tongues of fire were sliding through his insides and teasing his loins.

"Tell me, Severus..." he began, although it suddenly became difficult for him to speak, still moving his hips and repeatedly rubbing against the man's penis trapped in his pants, "What gives you the greatest pleasure?" He wanted to challenge him, wanted him to completely lose control of himself. And judging by the red face and the sounds the man was making, he was sure he was very close. "Do you like taking me?"

Harry knew he'd nailed it when a loud moan escaped Snape's mouth and his hand grabbed the boy's shirt, pulling him tightly closer, and Harry heard a hoarse whisper near his ear: "Yes, damn it!" With that, Severus grabbed Harry by the hair, tilting his head back, and pressed his lips against his exposed neck, then started thrusting his hips, faster and faster. Harry felt another sharp bite that made him feel dizzy, and then he heard a breathy, hoarse voice: "Taking you, fucking you, touching you, giving you orgasm..." He felt the man's hands grabbing his buttocks, forcing him to pressing harder on the head of his penis. Severus squeezed his eyes shut tightly and his face spasmed with pleasure. Harry saw it clearly, as he stared with wide eyes at the man, who was completely lost in intoxication. "And watching your eyes--" Severus moaned quietly and tightened his grip on the boy's buttocks. A pleasure spread across his face so intense it almost looked as if it was causing him pain. His mouth opened as if he wanted to scream, but no sound came out, only a vibrating growl quivering somewhere deep in his throat, getting louder and sharper. Harry was watching, completely speechless, as Severus came in his pants, as he shook and arched, his nails digging into his soft flesh, as veins appeared at his temples and at his shielded neck, as his slim body tensed like a string threatening to snap, and then... he relaxed, melt away as the claws of orgasm withdrew, leaving him with his mouth still open, inhaling greedily, a smile tugging at the corners of his dry lips.

"You really are... an insufferable, disgusting brat, Mr. Potter," those lips whispered a few minutes later.

"You forgot to add 'promiscuous' and 'sexy', Professor," Harry replied quietly, not even for a second taking his eyes off that incredibly gentle face, radiating with pure fulfillment. He couldn't stop the happy smile that spread across his lips. "Oh, I love our... kinky conversations."

Snape slowly lifted his eyelids and Harry was struck by the hazy warmth of his still burning eyes. They seemed to touch him, embrace his face and caress it with just a glance.

"I must admit, you're getting better at them..." the man said quietly. He was still breathing heavily. And he still didn't take his eyes off Harry's face, as if he was trying to print it in his mind.

"Did you just praise me?" the boy asked, smiling coquettishly. "Maybe you could give me a few points for this?"

Severus' eyes lit up and a slight smile appeared on his lips.

"Yes, I think it could be arranged..."

Harry's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"For the effect this relationship has on your skills... five points for Slytherin."

Harry opened his mouth. He couldn't believe it.

"You're... you're... impossible."

"And vice versa," Severus replied, no longer trying to hold back the trembling smile that lurked at the corners of his lips.

Harry sighed and leaned forward, resting his cheek on the man's shoulder and nuzzling his face into his neck. He heard Snape mutter a cleaning charm and smiled to himself. He felt so good now. They didn't have to do anything today, he just wanted to sit there, cuddled up to Severus, and... oh, yes, feel his hands caressing his back, so slowly and gently.

He tried to ignore the slight dizziness that came as soon as he closed his eyes and the growing tiredness that was overwhelming him. The sleepless night and the huge amount of sensations that had flowed through his body a moment ago began to take their toll, and the calm, monotonous stroking of his back and the soft breathing he heard above him rocked and enveloped him.

"You can't sleep here," Severus said quietly, breaking him out of the darkness that was everywhere. "Come to the bedroom."

"I'm awake," Harry murmured, rubbing his face against Severus' neck and snuggling deeper into it. "You know... I'd like to... make love to you until unconsciousness someday."

The man's hands stroking his back stopped suddenly and his body tensed.

Harry frowned. Had he said something wrong?

"I would like to..." Harry continued, however, surrounded by Severus' warmth and scent. "I want you to take off your robes, all of them and... and I want to kiss you all over, kiss every inch of your skin. Will you let me do that? Once?"

There was a velvety silence for a moment, and Harry listened to the man's breathing vibrating somewhere above him, and into the pulse pulsating under the skin. So close.

"The only thing I will let you do now is go to sleep," the man said after a while, moving slightly as if he was going to push the boy away from him.

"No!" Harry shook his head and wrapped his arms around his neck, clinging to him even tighter. "Let me stay like this. A bit more. Please."

Severus let out a soft sigh and started rubbing his back again. Harry purred softly into his neck, giving in to the caress and letting his body relax and his mind drift away.

And he stayed like that, he had no idea how long, because for him time was only the period between one breath of Severus and the next, between one beat of his heart and the next. Until darkness came.

Somewhere on the edge of his consciousness he heard a voice: "Enough of that. You're going to sleep."

He murmured something in response, letting the strong hands slide under his buttocks. He felt some movement and, with his senses dulled by sleep, he realized that he was probably being carried somewhere. He sighed as his back touched something soft, and the arms that were tightly wrapped around Severus' neck were gently but firmly parted and the warmth disappeared. He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids felt too heavy and his muscles didn't want to cooperate. Then he felt that something lifted his feet and took off his shoes, and then socks. Before he could register it, his hips were lifted up and his pants were pulled down.

"W-what... does--?" he muttered into the air, but the question died on his lips as his glasses were pulled off and he felt warm lips pressing against his temple.

"Shhh, go to sleep."

He grunted, disconsolate, as the lips moved away and he was gently lifted up, his shirt pulled over his head. This woke him up a bit, but he didn't open his eyes. Just a touch was enough for him.

As the covers fell over his bare shoulders, he turned on his side and whispered sleepily: "If you ever... moan my name... I'll tell you my secret," he said, and couldn't hold back the yawn that followed those words.

He felt cool fingers caressing his cheek.

"Then your secret is safe," Severus replied quietly. "Good night."

Harry smiled and buried his face into the pillow, falling back into the pressing darkness.

"Goodnight... Severus."

He heard footsteps and the slam of a door closing, and after some time the sound of running water. Yes, he was incredibly sleepy, but he couldn't fall asleep until Severus joined him. Otherwise it would be no different than falling asleep in the dormitory, and yet he was in Snape's bedroom now, he wanted to at least hear the rustle of the sheets as the man lay down next to him, he wanted to feel his presence.

With the greatest effort he managed to open his eyelids, but all he saw was the absolute darkness that reigned in the room. He tried to focus on the faint outlines of objects to make sure his eyes were still open, and to listen to the sounds coming from the bathroom.

After what seemed like an eternity, the sound of the water stopped. A moment later, the bathroom door opened and bright light flooded into the bedroom. Too bright. Harry squeezed his eyes shut. Now he could.

He listened carefully to the soft steps of Severus's bare feet. The mattress on the other side of the bed sagged suddenly, and the thin, smooth covers rustled in the dark like owl wings rubbing together. Harry couldn't help but as soon as Severus lay down behind him, he immediately felt an overwhelming urge to turn around and touch him. He stayed where he was, though, lying still and trying to breathe deeply and evenly. Now that he knew he was in the same bed as him, sleepiness seemed to have released him, at least partially. It was too amazing an experience for him to just fall asleep.

In the silence around him, he could hear Severus' steady breathing and wondered if he should say something, move, signal him that he was still awake. But what could he do? What if he turned towards him, trying to make contact with him, and Snape moved away and turned his back at him?

He lay there for some time, wondering what to do and unable to decide, when suddenly he heard a short rustle behind him. At first he didn't pay much attention to it, convinced that Snape had probably changed his position. But after a while the rustling repeated itself, and the mattress behind him sagged more, as if Severus... had moved closer.

Harry's heart immediately sped up and hope tingled in his veins, but he still didn't make any gesture, waiting in silent suspense for the man's next move, wondering if maybe he was telling himself something that wasn't the truth.

But no! Another rustle, longer this time, and Harry distinctly felt a gentle brush against his back. Severus had obviously moved close enough that his arm was touching him.

Harry fought with himself. He wanted to turn away so badly that he felt like he was trembling with the desire, but on the other hand he was afraid that Snape would retreat back to his spot and then everything--

Oh shit!

Harry could hardly control his surprised sigh when he heard the rustle again and felt on his bare arm, protruding from under the covers, the gentle touch of Severus' fingers, which slowly began to move along his arm, stroking it with such gentleness as if the man was afraid that he at any moment may wake him up. Harry didn't even dare to swallow, forcing his breathing to be calm and rhythmic, even though he felt like his heartbeat was clearly audible in the thick silence.

His skin seemed to come to life in the places where Severus' fingers touched it, and Harry sighed inwardly as the man removed his hand. However, he quickly forgot about it when he felt a movement behind him and... Severus moved even closer, pressing his cool body against Harry's back and hugging him around the waist.

No, he didn't do it. This must surely be a dream. He fell asleep and now he was dreaming that Severus was hugging him. It's impossible for Snape... for him... alone... and on top of that... oh! ...and he pulled him gently closer, positioning himself behind Harry so that their bodies fit perfectly together and... and he buried his face into the back of Harry's neck, blowing that incredibly hot breath on him that made Harry almost sure that he began to tremble. But he was apparently only trembling inside, because Snape didn't pull away, didn't push him away, but moved his face down a little, pressing his warm, wet lips to his shoulder and...

And Harry was sure he heard a soft voice, so quiet it was almost inaudible, hoarse whisper: "I can't change it..." Severus moved his hot lips to Harry's neck and placed a gentle kiss on it. "I can't..." he repeated even more quietly, and the heavy sigh that followed these words made something in Harry's heart clench painfully.

Severus said nothing more. He buried his face in Harry's hair and, hugging him even tighter, became motionless. Harry lay in the silence and darkness, surrounded by the man's arms and scent, absorbing his incredible closeness with his entire being, and allowed Severus' calm breathing to finally lull him to sleep.

 

I know you've suffered
But I don't want you to hide
It's cold and loveless
I won't let you be denied

Soothing
I'll make you feel pure
Trust me
You can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart
I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask
I want to exorcise the demons from your past
I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Please me
Show me how it's done
Tease me
You are the one**

 

* "Hysteria" by Muse
** "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse