45. The Guardian

 

Let me be your shelter
Let me be your light
I'm here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm and calm you
I'm here with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you...*

 

The first two days of school felt incredibly long for students who were weaned from studying. Even practical classes required more concentration than usual. They generally slept through theory anyway whenever possible, that is, unless it was a class with Snape or McGonagall.

Peeves had a whole host of students to torment again, and Filch could finally punish some of the more unlucky people for such crimes as "making a mess of the corridors" or "laughing too loudly" and give vent to his chronic frustration. Nearly Headless Nick boasted to all the students he met that since the Headless Club did not want to accept him into their ranks, he had founded his own Nearly Headless Club during the holidays and he invited to join it everyone who planned in the near future - i.e. within the next hundred years - to not completely get rid of their own head. He even offered professional help and advice such as 'how to cut off your head without overdoing it' or 'how not to lose your head in just five cuts'. So far, only Neville Longbottom has signed up for the club, as he believed that given his bad luck, he should be prepared for such an eventuality.

The only person who worked hard during classes was, of course, Hermione, and she earned almost thirty points for Gryffindor in the first two days. Unfortunately, all the rest of Gryffindors lost exactly the same amount, so the balance was ultimately zero anyway.

When half of the students, especially the younger ones, poured out on Monday evening into the school yard, lit with torches and sparkling from the white fluff everywhere, and the snowball fight that opened the new semester began, Harry went to the dungeon for detention. Snowball fights were one of the things he loved most at Hogwarts, but not as much as the taste and smell of Snape's penis. The Potions Master fulfilled his promise, and as soon as Harry entered the living room, he was greeted with the words 'On your knees', and the rest of the evening was a blur in his eyes from the speed with which Severus was thrusting into his mouth and from the cum that had landed several times throughout the detention. on his glasses. Fortunately, Snape didn't take any points away from him for that...

Once he returned to Gryffindor Tower and was greeted with sympathetic looks from his friends saying, 'We had such a great time and you didn't, oh, we're so sorry, Harry...' he had a hard time keeping himself from laughing and telling them that it was quite the opposite. No snowball fight - even the biggest and most wonderful - could compare to what he had just tasted.

That evening he couldn't fall asleep for some time, thinking carefully about every detail of his detention, and after some time he pulled out the Marauder's Map from under his pillow to see what Severus could be doing now. He didn't see him in the office, nor in the living room, nor in the bedroom. He wasn't in the bathroom either. He suspected that he was probably sitting in his laboratory again, brewing some complicated potions. He was about to close the map when he noticed a movement in the very corner of the sheet. One glance was enough for his heart to stop.

Severus and... Nott were walking through the corridor leading from the dungeons to the castle exit.

Again!

Harry felt anxiety and the yellow, poisonous monster of jealousy rising within him again.

Calm down, just calm down. Severus told him that he was tutoring Nott.

But why the hell, in the middle of the night and outside the castle? Because they were both clearly heading towards the edge of the map, towards the part of the Hogwarts grounds that the map no longer reached.

Or maybe... maybe they're both going to some Death Eater meeting? In fact, he wouldn't be surprised if Nott's father forced his son into Voldemort's service.

No! He trusts Snape! He's sure it's nothing. Or everything? No! He's sure it's all fine. It must be! And if it turns out that it's not, then... he will do something about it! Yes, exactly!

And Nott will regret that he was born!

 

***

 

Wednesday passed a little faster. Tonks showed them several spells to eliminate evil cursed, and in Herbology they trimmed Tentacula shoots, which turned out to be quite a challenge and they went to lunch tired, sweaty and bitten. The spells also proved to be exhausting, as Professor Flitwick had them perform the Icy Fire Charm and it ended with Neville setting his robe on fire, Seamus setting his eyebrows on fire, and Lavender Brown almost setting Hermione's hair on fire.

After all the lessons, they were so exhausted that they barely made it to their tower. Harry just wanted to throw himself on the bed, but he still had detention with Snape waiting for him today. It wasn't that he didn't want to go because he wanted it more than anything, but he felt really exhausted. When most of the students had climbed through the portrait hole and Harry, Ron, and Hermione had also entered the Common Room, they were surprised by a small gathering around the fireplace.

"--n't worry, you know Snape is a mean asshole. Don't worry. I'm sure everything will end well."

"Exactly. He's always in a bad mood. You shouldn't worry about that overgrown bat!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at each other and moved closer to find out what was going on.

Half of the Gryffindor fifth year surrounded Colin Creevey, who was sitting on the couch, his head down and looking really depressed. Ginny was sitting next to him, obviously trying to comfort him.

"What happened?" Ron asked, looking at his sister. Colin looked up for a moment and Harry saw that his eyes were red.

"That bastard Snape kicked Colin out of class and told him to never show in from of him again," Ginny said with anger in her voice.

Harry's eyes widened.

"What? Why?" he asked, clearly shocked. Snape always threatened everyone with expulsion from classes, but he rarely carried out these threats and these were usually only one-off incidents.

"I..." Colin muttered, sniffling. "We were supposed to prepare the Potion for Dreamless Sleep, and I mixed up the ingredients and... everything exploded and--" His voice broke and he could no longer speak.

"Half of our year ended up in the hospital with burns" Ginny added quietly and, seeing that Colin's lips were starting to tremble again, she quickly reflected. "No one is saying it was your fault, Colin! Everyone has the right to make a mistake! After all, such accidents happen very often. And Snape is a teacher and he should understand that, not claim that you are the biggest imbecile the school has ever seen, after Longbottom," Ginny said, imitating the teacher's tone.

"That greasy-haired asshole is a scum! I wish some potion could blow up in his face one day! Maybe that would make him less nasty," Ron growled. "Don't worry, Colin, Snape tells me things like that every other lesson."

Colin sniffed. "If that was the only thing he said?"

"Snape was behaving even worse than usual today, as if someone had stepped on his toes," Ginny muttered. "He shouted at us throughout the lesson and took about forty points away from us. For nothing. And later, when Colin blew up his cauldron..." The girl looked at her friend with sympathy.

"He said that if I was so blind that I couldn't tell the difference between the red powder of Rotfiend droppings and the yellow powder of dried Manticore eggs, then I should borrow Potter's glasses and--"

Harry's jaw dropped.

"--and he doesn't want to see me in his classes anymore, and if I want, I can blow myself up and then everyone will breathe a sigh of relief." Colin finished and sighed dejectedly.

"McGonagall will definitely put in a good word for you," Hermione said. "Snape can't just kick students out of class."

Ron looked at Harry next to him and patted him on the shoulder.

"And you'll soon have detention with that bastard. Hang in there, Harry, we'll keep you in our thoughts. Let's hope you make it out alive."

Harry nodded, too shocked by all the revelations to respond. If Snape was in such a foul mood today, he was now really starting to dread this detention. After all, he knew him and how unpredictable he could be at times.

Apparently this evening wasn't going to be as pleasant as he thought...

After dinner, at which Severus did not show up, Harry left the Great Hall, followed by sympathetic glances from Ron, Hermione and several younger Gryffindors, and headed straight for the dungeons.

Well, better get it over with. Maybe it will not be so bad. Maybe Severus would just growl at him and throw him out the door because he wouldn't want his company.

As he stopped in front of his office door, he felt his heart beating loudly. It wasn't that he was afraid of Severus. It was just that he was afraid of his... moods sometimes. Or rather, what the man could do to him.

He took a few deep breaths, trying to dispel the lump of fear that had settled in his stomach, and touched the door. He walked through the office and stopped again, wondering if he'd better turn back while he still had the chance. Afterwards he may not be able to do it anymore.

A Gryffindor third year, who had also had classes with Snape today, confirmed that the teacher was behaving much nastier than usual. And now Harry was standing outside the door to his chambers and felt as if he was about to enter a lion's den. Or rather, a snake's.

No, it's Severus. He won't do anything to him, even if he's in a really bad mood today. Right? Right?

He closed his eyes, took a few more breaths to encourage himself, and entered.

Okay, he took two steps and no one had yet thrown any spell at him or knocked him to the ground. It's good.

He looked around the dim living room and saw Severus standing with his back to him, doing something at his bar.

"G-good evening, S-Severus," he muttered quietly and closed the door behind him.

The man didn't look back but replied: "Sit down. What would you like to drink?"

"I--" he started hesitantly, not really knowing what to say. "I mean... if you don't feel like it today, I don't have to be here. We can postpone this detention until tomorrow."

Snape turned to him and eyed him suspiciously. "Could you tell me why we would do this?"

He held an empty glass in his hand. He didn't look like he was going to throw it at Harry. He looked more like someone who would rather fill it and hand it to him. That means... he looked normal.

"Uh... because I was thinking... if you're not in the mood. I can go and come back tomorrow. No problem."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "What does that mean, Potter?"

"Nothing, nothing at all... just... never mind," Harry replied quickly and sank into the armchair, turning his head towards the fireplace. "And I... uh... water, please."

"Water?" he heard the man's surprised voice.

"Yes, because somehow I don't feel like drinking alcohol, because it-- uh--" makes me too drunk to defend myself "--because I would like to do my homework today."

Fortunately, Snape didn't comment on it. After a moment, he placed a glass of clear liquid in front of Harry and sat down on the other side of the table. The boy grabbed the glass and drank half of it in a gulp. He set it down on the counter and licked his lips.

"Maybe... maybe I should--" he stammered, feeling the man's eyes on him, but still not turning his head away from the fireplace.

"Potter... I never thought I'd say this, but you're acting even weirder than usual."

Harry blinked and looked at Severus. He looked at him calmly, but at the same time with surprise. He didn't look like he was going to tear him apart. In his hand he held a glass of inseparable whiskey.

"Sorry, I had a bit of a rough day today," Harry said carefully.

"Did too much learning take its toll on you so quickly?" the man asked, and the boy saw the hint of a smirk at the corners of his lips.

Snape was making fun of him. Should someone who is mad at the world do such things?

The longer Harry looked at him, the more he was surprised to discover that Severus' mood wasn't bad at all. On the contrary. This discovery unsettled him a bit.

"You'd be tired yourself if you had to fight Tentacula's spikes," he replied quietly, waiting for a reaction.

Snape dipped his mouth into the glass and glanced at Harry's scratched hands.

"The best way to deal with Tentaculas is Immobilus. Next time just cast a spell on them."

Now that the man mentioned it, it seemed so obvious.

"I didn't think of it," Harry muttered, deciding to remember that advice.

Snape pursed his lips tightly as if refraining from commenting.

Harry was becoming more and more amazed. Snape was clearly nice to him. This completely changed things. He sank deeper into the chair, relaxing. He probably won't risk too much if he just... asks.

"How was your day today?"

Perhaps his voice gave away too much, because Severus pierced him with a sharp look and said: "Ah, so that's it." Harry blushed slightly. "Well, Potter... as you may have heard, a certain half-wit caused quite a mess for me today, and the rest of the half-wits were very close to following his steps. There is no law prohibiting me from treating such individuals as they deserve."

"But... but apparently you kicked Colin out of class," Harry said quietly, looking straight into the black, narrowed eyes. "Why?"

"His level of stupidity was off the charts and that's why he had to leave my class," Snape replied matter-of-factly and took another drink.

Harry frowned. "Did... did something happen? Because apparently you were mad all day today. For everything and everyone. And I thought maybe something--"

"The amount of imbecility at this school just overwhelms me sometimes," the man interrupted. "But I don't see why you should worry about it. It's got nothing to do with you."

Harry's mind slowly began to clear.

"And... you're not angry now? About anything?"

Snape gave him a surprised look.

"And why would I be?"

"I just--"

"I hope you're not trying to tell me that you were afraid to approach me for the fear that I would bite you, aren't you?"

Harry smiled faintly, feeling really stupid.

"Well, when I heard you were in such a mood, I thought that you would be mean to me too."

Severus' eyebrows rose. "And was I?"

"No."

"So?"

Harry sensed several different emotions in this question, but he couldn't name or define them. All he knew was that he felt like an idiot. After all, since he'd entered, Severus hadn't let him know for even a second that he was in a bad mood. He had been acting completely normal towards him the whole time, and one might even be tempted to say polite, and Harry was still just waiting for some blow, as if he didn't trust him at all.

"I'm sorry, that was stupid. I don't know why I thought that," he said quietly, with remorse in his voice.

Severus looked at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"Potter?" he began slowly, as if he wanted Harry to understand every word, "you need to understand that what happens outside... has no effect on what's here. If I have a lousy day and sock half of the students, that doesn't mean... I'll be mean to you too. Well, unless you give me a reason, of course," the man added, and this time a smirk actually appeared on his lips.

Harry beamed. That was enough for him to be in a great mood for the rest of the evening.

They talked about many other things, Snape gave Harry a few books that he would need when writing his essay for Friday's Potions, and even highlighted the most important fragments.

In fact, there was only one nervous incident during the entire detention. When Severus left for his office and returned carrying an armful of parchments which he threw into Harry's lap, and growled: "Could you explain this to me, Potter?"

Harry looked at the pages written in delicate handwriting. It looked like class notes. But these were not ordinary notes. Everywhere on the sides there were hearts of different sizes and shapes bouncing or spinning, with only two words written on them: Anastassy Potter.

Harry's eyes widened. "What is this?"

"That's exactly what I'm asking. I noticed it while checking the notes of the fourth years," Snape said in an unpleasant tone, glaring at Harry suspiciously.

"But I have nothing to do with it. This girl is crazy!"

"You were supposed to get rid of her," the man hissed.

"Well, I'm avoiding her! I can't help it if she writes such nonsense," Harry muttered, half annoyed, half amused by the whole situation. "But I know what would make her finally leave me alone." Severus raised an eyebrow. "You can tell her that you are my man and I belong only to you. And if she doesn't get away from me, you'll turn her into flobberworm mucus. I'm sure she won't come within a hundred meters near me after such a warning," Harry replied, trying to keep a straight face, but unfortunately he failed and his lips stretched into a smile. "What do you think, Severus?"

Severus, however, seemed unable to answer because he pursed his lips so tightly that he seemed to be struggling to keep from snorting.

"Fine," Harry sighed, "I'll sort it out with her brother then. Maybe he'll talk some sense into her. Is that okay?"

The man nodded. Apparently he finally managed to swallow his laughter.

"I like the first option better, though," Harry grinned.

*

"Could... could I come to your place on Saturday?" Harry asked at the end of detention, when Snape was packing his books into the bag, shrinking them to fit.

The man gave him an unreadable look. "There's a trip to Hogsmeade on Saturday. I thought that since your dear friends were finally back, you would want to spend every free moment with them..."

Harry frowned and stared at the pattern on the carpet.

"I don't feel like going to Hogsmeade with them. I suspect they'll enjoy each other's company better," he replied, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. "They probably won't even notice that I'm gone."

Severus turned his face towards him. There was a deep crease between his dark eyebrows, and the man's eyes seemed to be scanning him like an X-ray, and Harry felt as if everything that was gnawing at him was clearly visible.

"So... can I come?" he repeated, staring at Severus with a plea written on his face Just say yes and let's not talk about this again.

Apparently, though, the man decided to ignore his silent request and did not allow the topic to be closed.

"Well well? are you trying to say that Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger are so self-absorbed with themselves that they excluded you from their group?"

"No," Harry said quickly. "I mean... I know they have the right to be together and all, but if only they weren't so clingy to each other at every turn. It's... unnatural." Feeling Severus's amused gaze on him, he added quickly "Okay, I know I'm jealous, but... they've always been my friends and now when I have to watch them hug or cuddle together, it feels so weird? as if it wasn't them, as if someone had replaced them."

Severus looked at him for a moment with his arms crossed, then spoke in a calm tone: "Potter, apart from the fact that they are, as you put it, 'clinging' to each other, has anything changed in their behavior?"

Harry shook his head.

"Apart from being close to each other, are they trying to let you know that they would rather be alone, or are they giving you any signals that they want you to leave them alone and go away?"

Harry thought about it and shook his head again.

"In all your years of friendship, have they ever let you down and put their problems before yours?"

Well, Ron sometimes got offended at him for no reason, and Hermione was too principled, but in the end they always... went where he went, even risking their own lives.

He shook his head.

"So do you still think that if you don't go to Hogsmeade with them, they will have a 'great time' and not worry about why you didn't want to go with them and what is happening to you?"

Harry became lost in thought. Now that he looked at it this way, maybe it really was--

"And don't you think that if they have finally found something that could be called 'happiness' and have it only for themselves, it would be the height of selfishness if you wanted to take it away from them because you don't feel comfortable with it? Even though, as you said, they treat you exactly the same as before and absolutely nothing has changed in their 'feelings' towards you? So why should your approach to them change?"

Harry felt as if something was gripping his stomach very tightly. Remorse flooded his heart and lungs. He bit his lip, feeling disgusted with himself.

How could he be so selfish? How could he think that they--?

"You're right," he muttered. He took a deep breath and looked at the man watching him carefully. The gratitude that coursed through his veins was too much for him to ignore. In a few steps he was next to him and was already burying his face in the cold, rough robe on the man's chest, feeling the arms wrapping around him.

"Thank you," he whispered. "And you know what?"

"Hmm?" He heard above him.

"It's all your fault that we won't see each other on Saturday."

"Oh, I'll get through this, Potter. After all, we still have Sunday."

 

***

 

When Harry entered the Common Room at ten o'clock at night, most of the students were sitting sulking in corners, trying to do piles of homework. It seemed that teachers were trying to make up for the backlog of oppressing students with the homework that arose over the Christmas break. Harry spotted Ron and Hermione, not by the fireplace as usual, but at one of the tables by the window. Covered in books and absorbed in themselves, they didn't notice his entrance at all. He stepped closer and cleared his throat, and then they jumped apart as if what they were doing was forbidden.

Harry felt remorse creeping up his throat. However, before they could ask him anything, he was the first to say: "I... I wanted to tell you that I'm very happy that you're, well... together. I mean... "Both Ron and Hermione stared at him with wide eyes. Harry sighed. "You are my friends and I want... I want everything to be fine between us, and if you're happy together, then... I accept it. Really."

When he finished, he didn't even have time to take a breath because Hermione jumped up from the chair and threw her arms around his neck with a silent cry: "Oh, Harry!"

He felt stupid. He glanced quickly at Ron, but his friend was just smiling broadly.

Well... he really didn't think that his opinion mattered so much to them and that he would make them so happy with his confession.

"You act like a complete idiot sometimes," Ron only muttered when Hermione finally released Harry.

"No, I am rather a completely idiot," Harry replied, smiling.

"Do you want to do your homework with us?" Hermione asked. "We brought your notes and Ron even tried to start writing your History of Magic essay, but I stopped him in time."

"Thanks. And I stopped by the library on the way and borrowed some books that we'll need in Potions."

Hermione clapped. "Fantastic, Harry! Show me! Maybe I haven't read them yet."

Behind her, Ron rolled his eyes and Harry laughed. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his heart and he could finally breathe. Everything was as before again.

*

Harry managed to catch Ginny that same day and ask her to take him to Greg because she had an important matter for him. He met with him alone on Thursday after lunch and explained exactly what the problem was. He didn't want to involve Ron's sister in this because he suspected she would try to defend Anastassy and explain that it wasn't her fault that she fell in love and that Harry was overreacting, but the girls didn't understand some things. Gregory promised that he would try to explain to his sister that she shouldn't behave like that and apologized for her. He didn't promise it would do any good, but he said he would do what he could. And Harry sincerely hoped that would be enough.

It was really nice that Snape was so jealous of him, but sometimes he went a little too far, and Harry didn't want to have that chit on his conscience if Severus finally got really pissed and kicked her out of his classes on some flimsy pretext or started making her life a hell with his meanness. And Harry knew he could do that.

 

***

 

On Friday it happened again.

Harry was sitting over the map, staring at the two dots moving around Hogwarts and gritting his teeth with helpless anger. Nott and Snape left the castle and walked across the grounds.

Well, come on, even Death Eater meetings couldn't take place that often! There must be something else going on here and he'll find out what it is!

When he looked at Nott during Potions today, he didn't notice anything unusual about his behavior, except that he seemed a bit tired and irritable. But the bile in Harry's stomach almost boiled when Severus, leaning over the Slytherin's cauldron, tightened his hand on his shoulder.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Severus, but it was obvious that it wasn't about any tutoring. And if Snape wanted Harry to trust him, then he should trust him too and tell the truth!

As for trust, Harry almost laughed when the Potions Master handed them back the tests and found that Drowned Fangs was the correct answer. The long look Severus gave him as he handed him his test, in which Harry saw hidden admiration, said it all. But in the end it was clear that Severus would rather choke than give him the correct answer, and Harry could be proud of himself for not being fooled.

He lay down on his stomach and, supporting his face with his hands, stared at the map on the pillow until he almost fell asleep. Nott and Snape still hadn't returned. He had no idea how much time had passed, as he found himself dozing off for a while, but he finally spotted them. They returned to the castle across the meadows. His heart jumped with nervousness.

Oh no! This time he won't miss this chance! He must find out the truth!

He jumped out of bed, grabbed the Marauder's Map, put on the invisibility cloak and slipped silently out of the dormitory, trying not to wake up the snoring Ron and Neville groaning in his sleep.

Getting out of the Common Room wasn't difficult, but the problems started when he passed the third floor because Mrs. Norris was tagging along him and he had to go a long way to lose her. He stopped behind some armor to look at the map. Nott and Snape were almost in the dungeons. He must hurry!

He ran down the last few floors and headed for the dungeons. He walked on tiptoe to move as quietly as possible. As he passed another corner, he saw them. Two tall, dark figures moving through the dark corridor. They were walking very fast, so fast that Harry had trouble keeping up with them and had to run up every now and then. When they reached the Potions Master's office, they separated.

Harry breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Nott had no intention of entering Severus' chambers and instead headed straight for his dormitory. He waited until Snape disappeared behind the door of his office and the Slytherin disappeared around the corner of the next corridor, then he walked to the door and stopped with his hand outstretched towards it. Every step and movement he took was decisive, but he couldn't get rid of the nervousness vibrating in his veins. After all, he remembered how such unannounced visits usually ended. Definitely not nice.

He was here, though, and he had to do something. This has gone too far. The first time he could have let it go, but this time he wasn't going to do that. He felt everything inside him tremble with anger, and something very active and extremely heavy nestled in his stomach. He gritted his teeth and decided. He opened the door with a touch while removing his cloak.

He wasn't afraid of Severus' reaction when the man would see him here. No. The anger and determination to find out the truth were stronger and guided him, not allowing him to stop for a moment and to think about what he was doing. He just wanted to find out the truth. That was all that mattered.

Therefore, when the heavy wooden door opened with a quiet creak, and Severus, standing by the shelves, turned around quickly, reaching for his wand and pointing it at Harry, the boy did not even tremble, but simply closed the door behind him and said very calmly: "Good evening, Severus."

The man looked at him as if he'd seen him for the first time in his life. The surprise on his face slowly began to transform into anger.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" he growled, lowering his wand and putting it in his robe pocket. Only then did Harry notice it. The material on the man's left arm was almost completely torn, and on the exposed skin there was a long, bleeding gash composed of a row of even, smaller wounds, looking as if something had sunk its long, sharp fangs into his hands.

Then, all of a sudden, Harry's eyes widened as understanding flooded in and the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place.

He remembered Hagrid's words about animals being murdered in the forest, about the attacker coming through roads known only to teachers, about the fact that it was probably part of the training to become a Death Eater, he remembered the long fangs of the Crackwats and in one moment everything became clear.

"It's you!" he said in disbelief. "It's you and Nott. You're training him in the Forbidden Forest."

"It's none of your business, Potter," Severus hissed, turning back to the shelves and searching furiously for something.

"How could it be none of my business? I heard what was going on there! You're teaching him dark magic spells!" Harry couldn't control the trembling of his voice and the feeling of betrayal that settled in his stomach. He couldn't decide what he should feel. Relief that it wasn't what he thought it was, or rather bitterness that Severus had hidden something like this from him? But very quickly a completely different feeling came to the fore. Poisonous and venomous. And Harry couldn't keep the regret from his voice as he said through gritted teeth, "You teach him... and not me?"

Snape stopped his search and looked at him in surprise. He didn't look very good. His face was extremely pale, and every movement seemed to cause him more and more effort, but Harry was in such a state that he almost didn't notice it.

"You said you wouldn't teach students the Dark Arts under Dumbledore's nose!" he blurted out, remembering the man's words. "I remember! And now you're doing it!" Harry clenched his fists, trying to calm down. It wasn't even about what Nott and Snape were doing in those forests anymore. The point was that... that--

"Dumbledore knows that," Snape drawled, glaring at Harry with burning anger. "Don't pry into things you have no idea about." After these words, he winced in pain and grabbed his left arm. The blood seemed to be leaking out more and more.

These revelations were shocking. Harry was standing as if struck by lightning, unable to utter a word, and watching as Snape began to search the shelves again. He felt dizzy. He had no idea what to think about all this. What does that mean that 'Dumbledore knows about it'? Why does he allow this? Harry had no idea what to do. He felt like his head was about to explode from the multitude of thoughts and emotions that he couldn't reconcile.

He only recovered when Severus turned to him with a small bottle in his hand. His face was covered with sweat. It seemed like he was getting worse and worse with every passing second. And only then did the gravity of the situation dawn on Harry.

Crackwats! Damn, they were poisonous!

In one moment he forgot about everything. About the regret, the anger, the questions that came to his mind and the bitterness that constricted his throat. Everything suddenly blew away, overwhelmed by something much more powerful and deeper, something that wrapped its icy claws around his heart. The fear.

He ran after Severus, who headed into the living room and fell limply into the armchair by the now extinguished fireplace. The man's face was contorted in pain and it seemed to be getting worse with each passing moment. Beads of sweat were running down his skin and his lips tightened so much that they turned almost white.

Severus unscrewed the bottle and was about to put it to his mouth when something clicked in Harry's head.

"What is this?" he asked, pointing to the bottle.

"Potter..." Severus said, his voice hoarse with pain, "don't you think this is not the best time to learn Potions?"

Harry fell towards him, trembling all over.

Severus could die! Only now did it dawn on him! Crackwats even attacked Hagrid once and it almost ended tragically, but Hagrid was a half-giant and had much better immunity than humans!

"Just tell me what is this! I need to know!"

"Decoction of Frogster spawn."

Harry's eyes widened. The blood in his veins was rushing at a dizzying speed.

"It won't work!" he almost shouted, and the man looked at him with surprise. Harry turned and looked around the room. Bits of a conversation he had once had with Hagrid came to him as if from behind a fog, trying to break through the ringing in his ears and the pounding of his heart.

What was that? What was it called? Something with pointy... needles...? Recall it! Recall!

He pressed his hands to his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Needles... Pointfeet needles! Yes! This is it! Severus!" He turned sharply to the man half lying in the chair. "I need pointfeet needles!"

"What are you talking about, boy?" Snape's every word was getting quieter and slower. "Don't forget... that I am the Potions Master. I can handle myself perfectly well. And you... shouldn't you be in your dorm right now?" After these words, he put the bottle to his mouth again, but Harry knocked it out of his hand with one movement. The bottle fell to the floor. "What the hell are you doing?" Severus drawled, but there was no usual power in these words.

Harry didn't know what he was doing. He only knew that he had to save him at all costs, even if Severus would hate him for the rest of his life.

"You don't know... Frogster spawn won't work. Hagrid told me. I helped him with Crackwats. I know. Poinfeet needles. Only they can help! There's no time, tell me where they are! Quick!" Seeing that the man was looking at him doubtfully, he added almost hysterically "Please, Severus, trust me!"

Severus was breathing heavily and seemed to be having more and more difficulty speaking. His hair was stuck to his forehead. The blood from the wound turned almost black and thick like mucus. The man slowly raised his right hand and pointed to the open door to the office.

"In left corner. Top shelf."

Harry stormed out of the living room and ran to the office. On the way, he picked up a mortar and pestle lying next to several brass scales on one of the shelves, and after a short search, he found a vial with needles about ten centimeters long, slightly shiny. He grabbed it, uncorked it, and poured the needles into the mortar, then began grinding them with such force that he felt like he wouldn't be able to use his right hand any time soon. Slowly, continuing to grind the needles, he returned to the living room and dropped to his knees next to Severus. The needles had already released their juice, and the longer he crushed them, the limp they became and began to fall apart. From time to time he looked anxiously at Severus, who was having more and more trouble breathing. His closed eyelids trembled slightly, and his half-open mouth gasped for air. His lungs were rattling and something green was leaking from the wound. His face was even paler than usual, despite the beads of sweat running down it.

He must hurry! He has to! Otherwise Severus... otherwise he--

He put even more force into crushing, his right hand was shaking from the effort, painful spasms ran along his entire arm, the strained muscles refused to cooperate.

Finally! The last needle disintegrated and mixed with the juice, creating a thick, brown and green shimmering paste. Harry scooped it up with his fingers and, with a shaking hand, carefully applied it to the wound. Severus hissed and jerked his arm up, but did not withdraw it. Harry swallowed and took another dose, which he began to rub into the wound as gently as he could. He tried to do it as carefully as possible so that the thick goo would close all the gaps left by the fangs. The moment the greenish blood came into contact with the ointment, it began to fizz and steam as if it was being burned. Harry scraped out the rest and patted it into the wound, forming a slowly drying, thick crust. He placed the mortar on the floor, gently took Severus' injured hand in his and rested his head on the man's lap, staring at his face and waiting.

...

...

Nothing!

No reaction!

Harry had never been so scared in his entire life. He knew he must be as pale as the man sitting in front of him. His hand was shaking so much that he felt its vibrations throughout his body, as if he had Parkinson's disease.

I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'll do anything...

Never before had he so passionately asked all the good spirits around him for help.

And when panic had almost taken over him and he was running out of air, that's when he noticed it...

Instead of suffering, Severus' face started to become... relaxed. The wrinkles smoothed out, and a quiet sigh escaped his lips. As if the pain was slowly melting away. The paper-white face began to take on color, breathing became deeper and more regular, and the tense body relaxed.

Harry lifted his head and stared at Severus' face with wide eyes. The man slowly lifted his eyes. Light appeared in his misty black eyes.

Harry held his breath as a dark gaze fell on him. He opened his mouth, but there was such a lump in his throat that he couldn't say a word. His heart was still pounding like crazy and couldn't calm down. He squeezed Severus' hand and swallowed hard.

"Does anything hurt you?" he asked quietly. Severus shook his head. Harry felt cool relief trickle down his skin, washing away the fear that gnawed at his gut.

It worked. It really worked!

Thank you thank you!

"You don't even know how afraid I was?" he stammered and looked at the wound. The ointment seeped into the skin, and the dried fragments turned to dust and fell to the floor. He moved closer, gripping the limp hand of the man even tighter. He leaned down and placed a kiss on it. Then another kiss. And another one. "I don't want to be that afraid for you ever again. It was so scary..."

Severus was alive. Everything was fine now. He saved him.

"I'm so happy," he murmured between kisses." I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I can't... I can't... Please be careful next time. I looked after Crackwats with Hagrid and I know what they can do. Please listen to me just this once. If you must go there, always take thyme essence with you. They hate the smell of it. They will stay away from you and will never... hurt you again. I don't want to spend all night worrying about them attacking you. And if something happens, send me a message through the stone. Promise me you'll do it! Severus?" He looked up, struck by the man's silence.

Severus looked at him as if Harry were speaking another language. He looked a little dazed, and Harry thought maybe he wasn't fully recovered yet. His face showed surprise and consternation.

After a moment, the man raised his right hand and, without taking that strange look from Harry, touched his cheek and stroked it.

"You don't have to... worry about me," he whispered, his voice a little hoarse, and Harry had the impression that he said the last word as if he had never used it before. At least not to himself. "I'll be alright."

"Of course I have to," Harry replied, letting his lips stretch into a gentle smile. "And don't even ask me not to, because it'd be like telling me to stop breathing. Listen... if someone or something hurts you, it's as if they hurt me. I can not explain that. But I feel it too. You're everything to me and I can't bear the thought that... that... you know what I mean?"

But there was no sign on Severus's face that he knew what Harry was talking about. He was still looking at him with the same dazed look, though Harry could see some confusion on his face. And the boy thought it was probably time to shut up.

"Just... promise me you'll do as I said and take care of yourself. Promise me." Harry himself was surprised by the desperation in his voice.

The man was still looking at him, continuing to stroke his cheek, as if he was doing it completely unconsciously.

"I promise," he finally said in a quiet, deep voice, and Harry smiled broadly. He felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest with joy.

Everything was fine! For real!

He raised his right hand to touch Snape's hand stroking his face, but winced in pain when he tried to do so. Something happened to his fingers. He couldn't move them. They were still bent, as if he still held the pestle he'd grinded the needles with.

Severus' hand slid from his cheek and rested on his raised hand.

"Sorry, I can't stretch my fingers," Harry said quietly, trying to sound carefree even though he still felt a stabbing pain in his strained muscles. "I think I strained them a bit..."

The man's hand wrapped around Harry's bent fingers and led them straight to his parted lips, which placed a warm kiss on them.

The boy was staring with wide eyes as Severus pressed his lips to his hand. He looked like he wasn't going to let it go, and Harry felt his heart almost melt and flow to the floor, warming every part of his body along the way.

He pressed his cheek against Severus' injured hand and closed his eyes.

"Potter," he heard a quiet voice just above him as warm lips withdrew and Snape pulled his hand away a little, but didn't release it from the grip. Harry felt hot breath tickling his numb fingers. "You should--"

"I know," Harry interrupted, not opening his eyes and continuing to hug his injured hand. "I'm going. Soon..."

Just a moment more and he'll be gone. Really. Just a moment more.

Thin lips pressed against his hand again.

Well, maybe... longer than a moment.

 

* "All I ask of you" by Sarah Brightman & Josh Groban